Monday, March 23, 2020

Tainted moments.


  It's hard to blog about anything at the moment because everything feels tainted by the pandemic. A person almost feels guilty for blogging about something good happening in their life. There is that question in the back of our minds, "how can you write about something so light hearted when so many people are struggling, try to be more respectful". The result is that the virus has infected my blog, so to speak. It's like an elephant in the room at a family dinner.

 Take for example, my intention was to eventually write about meeting Mr X, just like I did back when I first met Dan. Not just for the readers but it's also for myself to one day look back on. Unfortunately now however the entire event will forever be tied to covid-19 no matter how I record it. Other little moments have been forgotten in the day to day 24/7 armageddon and that's too bad. The uncertainty of it all is staggering. The loneliness for me is overwhelming, I haven't spoken to another human in a week.. a real human.

 The other thing is the feeling regarding  loss of control over mom. I can't protect her and she is a sitting target. The Quebec government was smart enough to ban visitors to seniors homes and that will help prevent someone from bringing in the virus. However some of the staff have to work with hospitals as well. All it would take is one slip up and disaster would strike, the virus turns into a raging monster once it gets into a seniors residence. I can't imagine getting a call saying mom is critically ill and not being able to see her, or the thought of her dying alone. The other frightening thought is if the staff fell ill, I wouldn't be able to take care of her, I don't know what we would do and it could get that bad.

 There are things I didn't think of, like an older cousin passed away, he was well liked around this area. His family should have been surrounded by other family members and friends saying goodbye, instead they couldn't have a wake or funeral, it's too dangerous. Even small things like getting a hair cut, having your teeth cleaned will be off limits possibly for months.

 I will blog about Mr X however, as I will blog about my nature walks now that the snow is melting. Also about how Kitty ventured out of the barn yesterday, (a true sign of spring) and about how my neighbours are doing even though we can't have our usual tea, also the idea I have about growing spinach in the house (hopefully) and the latest book I read. I'm going to do that because that's living, that's life and being stuck in the house worried about a virus lurking around is not healthy. Maybe the blog can be an escape until things can return to something that resembled life before the plague. I will still mention it, I do take it seriously just that it has infiltrated every aspect of my day to day life and I'm tired of hearing about it.


26 comments:

Mistress Maddie said...

“The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for.” ―Fyodor Dostoyevsky

It's hard for these events to not get depressing, but I try to find any little thing to tickle me in these days and somehow keep moving. Email sometime, I'd be more then happy to give you my number to text or talk. Hang in there, your a friend now it's all we can do kid.

xo

anne marie in philly said...

we have our blog friends; we are not alone.

Jimmy said...

Look at it this way, you could be writing the 21st Century version of "Diary Of Anne Frank". What actor would want to play you (the leading role of course)?

Oh, wait,.....Camille, and since you sing, La Traviata! That's a good one. You could do Garbo, or Kiri! Hack, Hack.....

Just trying to brighten your day. Smooch!

Sixpence Notthewiser said...

Oh, but you must write about things that make you happy. Especially in times like this.
And you know you’ll hear our voices. That’s why blogging comes handy. I, for one, would like to read about Mister X. With our without connection to the debacle going on right now.


XoXo

Bob said...

I'm with Six.Write about happiness and write about reality because they are are part of your life.
We're staying home, though we did venture out for a minute yesterday for a doctor's appointment.But I keep up with friends and family by phone and Facebook--which is all I really use FB for.I like the connections.

RJ said...

Write about what you want. I read other blogs to help relieve the boredom of living alone while self isolating. It's just me and Netflix along with the occasional email or call from a friend.

Christina said...

It's your blog, write whatever you want to. We could all do with some good news and the story of you meeting Mr X will bring joy, for sure.
Take care, stay safe. X

Michael said...

Posting happy thoughts is a good thing. Life doesn't stop just because we are facing something awful. And when we read of happiness it lifts our spirits too. Take care....

Mildred Ratched said...

We all have to be creative in what we post during this difficult time. I can't believe I wrote a whole post about how I slipped a fell and pissed myself little over a week ago. If I hadn't hurt myself it really would have been hysterical. I feel sorry for those older folks who are alone and who fall and who really can't get up and who just lay there and die. It's sad and tragic and happens far too often.

We're all going to get through this and we'll all stick together and we'll try to boost each other's spirits through this journey and maybe we'll all get to know each other a little better. Take care and stay safe.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Yes, I'm trying to alternate posts -- one coronavirus funny meme post, one post about something else that's light-hearted. We're all drowning in coronavirus stuff so a break is nice now and then. My post tomorrow is about RABBITS -- don't miss it, LOL!

JanF said...

I think we are all eager to hear more about Mr X so please go right ahead!

Dave R said...

Blogging is good for the soul. It's that rare medium where you can be pissy, or smug, or funny, or simply trite, no matter what, and your readers are there. Kitty came out of the barn? Now, that sounds interesting.

HuntleyBiGuy said...

The only reason I come back every day is to see what’s happening with Mr. X 😜. But seriously, we’ve been through 9/11 and we will get through this. Like you said, we will look back at 2020 and this, hopefully, will be the bad news story of the decade. And the good news story will be Steven and Mr. X.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Maddie... Covid who? You are a sweetheart, thank you.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Anne Marie, we should have an online toast over the weekend to blogging. Everyone has a drink of "whatever" at around the same time to toast the blogosphere. What do you think?

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Jimmy, it would have to be Chris Evans, that's the only way people are going to want to watch a play or movie about me!!!

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Sixpence, I will write about him and other things.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Bob, I wish I lived with someone right now, then it wouldn't be so bad.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Richard, yes there certainly will be lots of time to blog now.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Christina, thank you and you stay safe as well.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Michael, I am encouraged by the positive replies, everyone seems to be on the same page.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Mildred, sorry to hear that you were hurt. However you did make me think. Life goes on, differently now but it goes on.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Debra... and you are doing a great job! I look forward to your posts, I like your sense of humour!

Sooo-this-is-me said...

JanF, okay soon, I will fill in the blanks soon. Thank you.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Dave, true and I do always say this is my therapy. You're a dog person, I sense your sarcasm! Hissss!

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Imagine HuntleyBiGuy how much fun posting about my wedding will be!