The hour of the wolf, with a wolf.

 Last night I woke up after two in the morning, fortunately I don't have to work today, otherwise I would be exhausted. My wittle brain decided that I had enough sleep and this was a perfect time for some serious worrying. Tick tock, tick tock watch the clock. I started to think about my work choices, this was brought on by the fact that a bunch of my cousins have retired this summer. Some are only fifty four and are as healthy as a forty year old. They had high paying government jobs and their retirement income will be much more than I make, it's like they won the lottery. Don't get me wrong, nothing was handed to them, they worked hard to get these jobs.

 Hindsight is 20/20, and I really understand the meaning of that statement as I get older. A good example is two brothers retiring at the same time. The older brother didn't like school and went into home renovations etc. However after a few years he didn't like the uncertainty of that type of work, also he watched his younger brothers and sisters doing really well for themselves. He went to university, got a degree, then got into the government. It feels like ten years ago that he did that, yet he retired in spring, his younger brother made all the right decisions from high school on, so he also retired last spring. I think I will be working until I'm 90. Actually that played on my mind because I can retire at 65; however that's when mom began to show signs of dementia. Do I work till 65 and then lose my mind, that frightens me.

 That's the strange part of life, it's a lottery. If you have your health, you win, if you don't, you lose and you can lose on so many levels, example my parents. I went to see my godparents yesterday. I shouldn't be startled by their ages but sometimes I'm in denial about the amount of time that has passed. They are 81 and 84 and have been a perfect example of people who won the life lottery. Both retired with good pensions, they travel south for the winter. They drive down, I don't think I would be brave enough to try that. They golf and other physical activities, both are very social and are sharp as a tack with their thinking, 80 is the new 60 absolutely applies to them. They are starting to have health issues now but seeing how they are on the journey towards 90, I think that is expected. I had a good visit with them, there are not many people of my parents generation left that I can talk to, plus the wisdom, people of that generation from around here have a life experience that isn't common anymore. It's comforting to be able to hear it again.

 What was that? Suddenly I'm snapped out of my runaway train of thoughts. There was a strange noise outside, like a growl. Immediately I think about Kitty, nope we're good, it's damp out so she retired to the barn, she's safe. I listen but nothing, the deer come at night for the apples, I wonder about them. I look at the clock, going on to three in the morning. Suddenly there is howling close, very close to the house, other voices join in. I jump up, it's a bright moon but I can't see, there is a heavy fog over the land. Wolves and coyotes are masters at staying out of sight, night time makes them brave, night plus fog makes them bold. There is another chorus of howling, I can tell these are coyotes and there's three of them,  about two minutes later from a distance a louder chorus answers back. This is a much deeper sounding tone, I'm not sure if they are older coyotes or maybe wolves howling to let them know this is their territory. It's hard to tell some times because the wolves here are red wolves and they will interbreed with coyotes.

 I lay back down, thinking thinking thinking, I don't know why, I didn't have any coffee or chocolate. The temperature dropped to freezing, I brought in a bunch of veggies and covered the rest, hope the flowers survive for at least another week or two. I hear a car go by, unusual for this remote road at this time of night, makes me suspicious. What time is it anyway I'm thinking to myself. I look at the clock, it's not night anymore, it's five in the morning. I groan.. might as well get up now and do something. I'm exhausted, I made it through the night, I close my eyes for a few seconds and immediately fall asleep, not waking until almost nine, so much for getting a lot done.