Wednesday, September 18, 2019
Hanging out with ABBA.
My frustration has been notable lately with not finding my "posse" to hang out with. I guess it's an age issue now, most people don't want to hang out after thirty five. One thing about coming out that has surprised me is how nothing changed for me socially. I always thought that my awkwardness and being a loner was because of my hidden sexuality. I believed that once out, I would find a group to hang out with. Turns out nope, I'm just socially awkward.
When I was a kid and always on the outside looking in, I used to fantasize about being friends with ABBA. They were the most beautiful people I had ever seen. I had to learn about Sweden, I was excited to know that they grew tall blonde beautiful people over there like we grew corn.
If the people from ABBA were my friends, everyone would be so jealous, they would be extra nice to me because then.. they would know how important I was, if ABBA liked me, there must be a good reason.
We would hang out and talk about how much I loved Fernando, how at the time it was my favorite song EVER! Then I would surprise them with how well I could sing, (before puberty stole my voice), nodding their heads in agreement, the angelic blonde woman would tell me how it just all makes sense for me to join the band on tour as a backup singer. Well after all as she would point out, I already know most of their songs. Of course once on the road, they would all suddenly realize that I was too good to be just a backup singer, and I should sing as a third singer with the ladies.
They would be really nice people because they just looked so pure, compared to all the hairy, sweaty hippie singers left over from the sixties. They would look at me as a little brother. We would travel around the world and perform in big stadiums. During the week of course I would have to go to school but sometimes on a Friday afternoon, a limousine would pull up in front of my school and all four tall Swedes would get out (dressed in white, they were always dressed in white) and start waving me to join them in the car. Laughing I would pile in with them and we would drive off to our next adventure. The kids at school would be dumb struck and envious. They would want to have my adventures, they would want to be like me, they would want to be friends with me.