Tuesday, June 18, 2019

Funeral @ eleven.


 The great thing about growing up in a small community is that you either  know the person you meet on the street or you are related to them. The bad thing about growing up in a small community is that every person you meet is either someone you know or  you are related to them.

 I find lately it is becoming difficult because the generation of people my parents age and older are all dying off, leading to a constant string of wakes and funerals. Unfortunately I don't feel that I have the time or desire to attend all of them. The families, generally hold off the funerals now until Saturday, when most people can make it. Funeral Saturday at eleven is the message that gets passed around.

This creates a dilemma I feel because I only have Saturday and Sunday to do everything chores wise and social life wise. If there is a funeral at eleven Saturday, then the day is gone pretty much because buy the time the mass has ended and people gathered for sandwiches afterwards, it's almost four o'clock. I'm not spending my weekends at funerals. I have enough close relatives and friends that I am going to have to ignore the third and fourth cousins, plus long time acquaintances etc, I will feel awful but I have no choice. Plus I get tired of observing death, life is so precious we should be concentrating on living.

 This week an older distant cousin of mine died, she was a good friend of my parents. Don't get me wrong, I liked this woman, she was a really kind and sweet lady. However she had no husband, no children, only a few elderly brothers and sisters are all that she had left. There's going to be nobody really there to pay my respects to.

One of the reasons I am not going, I don't want funeral overload, it just seems that every week this spring there is a funeral, that can bring a person down. Sorry everyone, funeral at eleven but I can't make it.

22 comments:

mistress maddie said...

I only ever go to funerals of immediate family and very close friends. I feel if I didn't talk to them much or we weren't close, I don't feel I should go. I myself don't even want to funeral.

This is depressing. Can we talk bout big penises?

Old Lurker said...

How many people do you hope will attend your funeral?

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Maddie, you're a big boy now, we can talk about funerals. It used to be tradition to have the funeral by the third day. I guess what I'm feeling guilty about not wanting to give up my Saturday. Anyway I'm not going to anymore unless it's someone close. Sometimes when I am bored at a funeral I think about big penises.

anne marie in philly said...

no funeral for me or my spouse; just cremate & scatter.

Jimmy said...

I agree with Maddie. Lets see the fire crotch!

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Lurker, I don't think I'm going to have one. The older people were good to go but not the next generation, I have no family either so I don't see the point of having a funeral.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Anne Marie, we are planning to use you for kitty litter!

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Jimmy, fire crotch? That sounds like an STI!

mistress maddie said...

That's always a fun game to lighten the mood at a funeral...guessing which men in the room are hung. Or were. Alas, the last funeral four years ago, the biggest penis belonged to the one in the coffin.

Deedles said...

Our cremations are already paid for. I told the family, no funerals please. Just scatter me, fight over my dvd collection and partay! If you can't bring me flowers while I'm alive, don't bother with them after I'm gone. Actually, don't bother with them after I'm gone either way.

Bob said...

We're not doing funerals either.
Burn and toss, followed by a big drunken bash that friends can have to dish me after I'm gone.

Sixpence Notthewiser said...

I have not been to a funeral in years. I don’t like them. And I agree with you: who are you going to comfort? Because funerals are for the living. The person who passes away is no longer there.
I also want to be cremated and hopefully scattered around in some creek/hill/lawn. 😎. I want to be useful after I die.
Don’t feel guilty. You are about her when she was alive and that’s enough.

XoXo

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Maddie, with those thin dress pants, most times a person doesn't have to "guess" which guy is packing a punch, lol. ;) Wait... I'm being disrespectful, tsk tsk naughty me!

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Deedles, well "they" always do say we will return to dust or ashes... or kitty litter! :D

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Bob, in other words... you might end up on someone else's blog titled, "I'm not one to gossip about Bob but" lol!

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Sixpence, I still have a large number of aunts and uncles alive, many well into their 80's and I feel I need to reserve my time for them. Not even mentioning close older family friends, so I have to draw a line somewhere. It's a country thing mostly I feel.

Richard said...

Sometimes you have to do what is best of you even if that means skipping a funeral.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Richard, I agree and I was actually remembering my parents when they were around my age feeling like they were going to funerals all the time. They felt it was their duty.

Bob said...

@Sooooo
I could be blog fodder? I am LOVING it!

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Bob, or garden compost!

Ur-spo said...

I try to go to these even if only for a drop in.
I've learned what counts is not what I say but that I came.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Dr Spo, that's true but I live in a community where my family has been for generations so that could be every weekend. I could have gone, I ended up not doing much that morning. Oh the guilt of being too thoughtful, lol.