Sunday, November 18, 2018

The Penetrating Words of Kindness.


 Often when something negative happens, I can become too focused on the moment. I try not to do that but I'm human, I have a hard time letting things go, it doesn't help to have my very own negative peanut gallery in the back of my mind. Those little nagging voices that try to convince me that I'm a total buffoon in everything I do and say. Fortunately as I get older I can command, "quiet" to the voices.

 I need to focus on the positive and recently I have had some really kinds words spoken to me that caught me off guard in a good way. I often drive a coworker home, a young Sikh man, he moved here from India and has no family in Canada. I can imagine how lonely that would be and sometimes I feel like an older cousin that has to look out for him. He is really easy to talk to, we joke and laugh all the way to his place, many times we also have deep discussions as well. I am glad that he is starting to come out of his shell at work, I wanted other people to see what a kind, decent plus comical guy he really is. One night we were laughing at the pranks a mutual friend pulls on us at work, then he said, "I like talking with you and Mark, you guys don't make me feel like I'm different from everyone else, I feel like we're the same". I had a total "awww" moment, I said "you are the same to me, I don't see you any different". He went on to say that some people can't get past the fact that he wears a turban.

 A few days ago one of my uncles came to visit, we were never close but I think he is getting sentimental as he ages. He is my father's younger brother and likes to come visit at least once a year to see the place and bring back old childhood memories, more so now knowing that one day I will sell the farm. He was asking about mom and then suddenly looked at me and said, "your dad would be so proud of you for the way you are looking out for your mom, really proud of you". I didn't know what to say, I was caught off guard, my family never says things like this. To be honest I always feel like I'm not doing enough and that I could do better. I think I needed to hear those words, not because I want praise for a job that I should be doing but because they help me get through the hard times.

 This weekend someone said something sweet that was just off the cuff but spoke volumes. The other night I was asked by someone to come for supper, when I went over I joked about him not clearing it with his wife first and just showing up for supper with a neighbour in tow. She laughed and said, "it's not the same when it's you showing up, you're not just a neighbour, you're like family".

 I had a few other really kind words said to me in the last weeks, I guess I'm not a total jerk, maybe some people even like me (lol). I try to say positive things to other people, maybe life is giving back with interest.

26 comments:

Deedles said...

Hey, in today's hateful climate, when someone says something nice about you roll in it like a pig in mud! See the farm animal reference? You seem to me to be a very thoughtful and sweet man, at least in writing. Speaking as a negatively bred person myself, embrace the positive wholeheartedly, toss the serious negativity but keep the humorous snark. I person's gotta have some fun!

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Deedles, snark is my middle name, no seriously it's on my license. I am a really sweet man... in writing... muahahaha!

anne marie in philly said...

I think you are pretty nice and I don't really know you. most people are kind and generous. I told my voices to STFU and get lost a long time ago. they have complied.

Bob Slatten said...

It does feel good when someone says something nice about you, and yet, sadly, in these times, you wonder why.

I'd take the compliment and run with it ... and throw some snark!

JP said...

People generally give what they get. I’m guessing you say kind and generous things to them too.
JP

Sooo-this-is-me said...

(Blushing), thank you Anne Marie, I appreciate that because I know you don't b.s people. I am adopting your attitude towards my voices... STFU lol!

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Bob, snark is just the cherry on top of the happy cake! Lol

Sooo-this-is-me said...

JP, sadly no, I'm a total mean bastard to everyone, rude and sarcastic make my day. Hahaha, no I try to be positive with everyone, the more people on my side the better!

mistress maddie said...

I already can't wait to hear the snark in bed on the honeymoon.

mahmoud fawzy said...

شركة نقل اثاث
شركة نقل عفش من الرياض الى الخبر
شركة نقل عفش من الرياض الى تبوك
شركة نقل عفش من الرياض الى المدينة المنورة

1st Man said...

What a great post. The world needs more kindness. I'm reminded of a time I was volunteering with AIDS patients and just sort of went room to room offering candy (that makes everyone smile) and then a friendly voice to talk to. I held one man's hand as we chatted and he said "I can't believe you will hold my hand, my own family won't do that". I kept it together until I left the room. I decided then and there that I would always try to be kind in all of my interactions with people. We never know when a simple gesture, a simple word, or a simple act, will have such an impact.

Yes the world, especially now, needs more kindness.

In the spirit of that, we all care about you because you are a pretty awesome person. :-)

Deedles said...

Sure, Maddie. That's what you're waiting for on the honeymoon, snark. Poor, poor Steven!

Sooo-this-is-me said...

I promise to watch what I eat before going to bed so that you don't hear a single little snark come out of me! :)

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Well Google translate said something about furniture which I don't need but I'm leaving your picture because you're very handsome.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Oooh, that would have made me tear up as well :( I can't imagine how alone many people, especially in the early years must have felt. You gave them compassion, I think that's pretty awesome to!

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Deedles, don't worry the last thing any guy gets from me in bed is snark, unless that's a new position nobody has told me about!

Old Lurker said...

Harumph. How am I supposed to be mean to you after a post like this?

If it matters I also think you are doing well in looking out for your mom. I still think you shouldn't sell your farm, though.

Christina said...

I know we don't know each other but I know that you are a kind and decent man. It oozes from every line of your blog.
After 59 years on this planet, my "mean and nasty" detector is pretty accurate!
We all encounter negative people from time to time but that's life.

John Gray said...

Since Easter, I too have been on the receiving end of kind words and sweet deeds.
Like you say, they mean a great deal.
A broken psychi can be soothed a great deal with a kindness

Michael said...

Steven,
Thanks for this post. I can tell from your writing that you are a kind soul, and it is good to be recognized for that. People don't often take the time to say nice things to one another, and I am glad that you were on the receiving end of this!

Sooo-this-is-me said...

OL, your answer is simple, I enjoy your grumpiness so in order to make me happy, just be you.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Christina, I get the same vibe from you, aren't we just adorable! :)

Sooo-this-is-me said...

John, I felt there would be a lot of people ready to have your back once they found out you are hurting.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Michael, well as you already know, I think you're wonderful. ;)

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Sooo-this-is-me said...

Oh wow we just met and you already love me? I must be nicer than I realized!!!