Spilling Time.

 I think as we get older we begin to appreciate time more, one day we wake up and realize that time is not limitless, it has an expiration date. I was thinking about all the things in life we do that are a complete waste of time, the odd thing is at that moment in our life, we often don't realize that we are wasting time, we may even think that we are accomplishing something. It's kind of like having a bottle of the most refreshing drink that you could ever imagine. Do you savor every drop or are you careless and spill it... gone forever when it soaks into the earth.

 I often feel that I was careless, that I spilled my bottle. Part was done on purpose, I was/am a master procrastinator, also I confess that I could certainly have been a lot more ambitious in life. On the other hand I try to tell myself not to look back, past mistakes and bad choices were from the inexperience of youth. I learned from the mistakes I made because I saw how things didn't work out.

 October already, how did the month sneak up on me so fast. Fall usually makes me melancholy, it gets worse as I age. A large part of it comes from my mother, she hated winter so much that she would get upset at the prospect of the last week of August. I think the problem with the perception of fall, is that it signals the end of everything before winter's grip takes hold. I try not to be like mom, I try to embrace fall, for example the colours, the cool nights, snuggling up with a hot drink, a warm fire place, Halloween and everything that comes with it, the fall harvests, especially apples, apple crumble, apple tarts, apple pie, well you get the picture, did I mention apple turnovers. Fall really is a nice time of year and I want to train myself to enjoy it, there is no use wasting time worrying about what season comes after. The cut off point here is Halloween, after that the colours are gone, like my mood everything turns a dreary November grey so I allow myself to grumble when the time comes. Until then however I am savoring the final drops of fall.