Comfortably Gay.

 I sometimes surprise myself with how comfortable I have become with being gay. This didn't happen overnight it was years in the making. I think back to a time when I would have completely denied being gay, even if you walked in on me having sex with two guys while gay porn played on the VCR to pumping dance tunes..... and wearing glitter, well you get the idea. As a side note, how sad is it that the spell checker doesn't recognize "VCR" but auto corrects Kardashian.

 A few days ago I was getting medication for my mother and the pharmacist technician behind the counter, came out to speak with me. This man is very, very gay, he is a cute little guy of about 5'6, he has a comical perky type of personality. He came up to me and said "Hi Andrew, Mike, Denis"? I laughed pointing to myself saying Steve! I was wondering what he wanted, I didn't realize he came out to take my requests as there were people ahead of me being served. I asked what he wanted and he said as a joke, "I'm wondering if you are free tonight" then he laughed and asked for the prescriptions. I handed him the prescription and said "why yes I am free tonight", he looked at me startled! I figured now it's my turn to catch him off guard. Again I said, "I am free tonight", he didn't know what to say, he was a little taken back, he blushed a little, he was probably wondering if I was joking. Actually I was half joking, if he became bold and asked me out, I was ready to go out with him, I think he is adorable, like a carebear.

 I went to sit down and wait for the prescription to be filled. After I paid for the medication at the cashier, I watched for him as I was leaving, I didn't see him which was sad because I had an answer ready for him, should he asked could he do anything else for me, I was going to say, "yes, why don't you give me your phone number". I would have really rattled his cage, that would have been funny. Either way I figured there would be no harm in it, he would either say he was with someone and no thanks or we would have been going out.

 Later that evening I was thinking about our flirting, I was doing it with people around, in the area where I grew up, plus even just the fact that I did it was a huge leap for me. I didn't feel worried after, about who may have overheard or saw what was happening, I don't care. A few days later I was back, as I started to request my order he pretended not to understand me, then he said to me that I have to speak French to him. I did speak French to him, he seemed surprised, he said "I'm impressed" I said thanks and then told him he is a brat! He said "I'm a what"?  We both burst out laughing.

 He is around my age but is a small guy, I find him cute, he's slightly effeminate but it works for him. I'm usually attracted to masculine men, I like to think that I'm masculine-ish in personality, slightly nerdy, slightly awkward; however this man presses all my alpha male buttons, I would like to be the top to his bottom. It felt good to flirt and I never even thought of it as a gay thing, just me teasing another person I was interested in... who happened to also be a man. Maybe I can get myself a good deal on drugs as well... lol.