Whew!

Movie night went really well, I was so nervous going over there that Dave kept telling me to relax. I pretty much knew it would be okay but sometimes, we have all probably saw where for no reason, people just clash. Fortunately for me this was not the case. Eric and his wife instantly hit it off with Dave. Even at times jokingly ganging up on me and teasing me. Dave and Eric have a lot in common and often it came to a point where I was left out of the conversation, that was perfectly fine with me, actually I was hoping that would happen. Dave is also used to being around small children, likes to joke with them and so the girls thought the world of him.

Eric's wife went out later for the evening and after the girls were put to bed, it was then movie time! It was perfect because we all like the same type of movies. Sitting there I just felt like the usual me, just guys watching a movie together. The only thing that caused me to wonder, was sometimes Dave would try to hold my hand, lean on me or put his hand on my lap. I felt guilty because I would tell him to stop. It became annoying to me. I felt guilt because I am not sure if I did not want him to do that in front of someone because we are gay or if I just did not want him to do that period. If I were straight, I don't think I would want a girl-friend being like that in front of my friends. I know I don't even like to do that in a gay bar, I don't like public affection, I see affection as an intimate thing not to share with others. The thing with Dave is he will do it more if I try to make him stop, I am not sure if it is a way to tease me or his way to make sure I am not rejecting him (more I think teasing, he is a brat like that). Dave will often try to get me to kiss him in the most awkward of times, always with potential exposure, he laughs when I say no, he likes to make me feel shy. I did not also want to make Eric feel uncomfortable as he is so supportive of me and this relationship, I want to be respectful to him. Eric and his wife are very loving but never have put me in an awkward situation, they as well, are affectionate when alone so I want to be respectful back.

The main thing now is we are establishing groups of people who support us as a couple. We are being asked as a couple to dinners, parties and barbecues. It is a good feeling, an unbelievable feeling, not the disaster that I thought coming out would be. I made the remark to Dave that I used to think if I found someone like him, there would be no point in having a gay wedding because no one would come, however now I see there would be a lot of people who would want to come, in fact some people have already said half joking but half serious that they want to be invited to my gay wedding! I don't want to jump ahead, we have only started this relationship but it is comforting to know there are so many people gay and straight behind us. Dave stayed over night with me, as my place is closer to Eric's than his. He had to leave just before noon, we talked about where we are in this relationship, where we want to go, our dreams etc and we can see that they are pretty much the same dreams. I walked him out to his car, told him I had a good weekend with him, to drive safely and that we would talk later. He pulled out and drove off with one final wave and I am a little embarrassed to say this, but as he disappeared from my sight, I had to fight back tears. I thought to myself, I love that guy.