A chain is only as strong as it's weakest link. The one reason that I had held back on telling my friend Elly about being gay, was not out of fear of her reaction, more a fear of loss of control over who knows and who does not know. She would never set out to hurt me, more like she would let things slip. Yesterday since a lot of my friends had asked to see a picture of Dave, I put a picture of us together on my Facebook site, yes I know I should never have joined Facebook but I did. Elly did not mean any harm and made a cute comment about us being together, however the picture of us and the comment then showed up on her site, she has a lot of people on her site that I would call poison as she is too kind to refuse the 'friend requests' of people that we really don't like or trust. Today it has been removed but I guess depending on who saw, the damage will already have been done. I am a private person and I like to keep personal things private, (well except on my blog, which does actually sound quite funny, however I trust all of you total strangers) my family is the same way whether gay or straight they like to keep to themselves. I don't mind my friends knowing things about me as I feel they earned my trust, they actually care about me and are part of my life so they are invited in. Others that have shown they can not be trusted I feel have no right in my business as I could care less about theirs.
I guess this was bound to happen as I come out more and more to people. I still think of myself as a closeted person and I want to remain partly that way for the time being, not hiding but low key. I am not afraid however, just annoyed. All I can do now is wait for the fallout and hope the thickness of most straight people when exposed to gay life comes into play and they do not catch on.
My List
About Me
- Sooo-this-is-me
- Ontario, Canada
- Lived most of my life hidden in the closet and suddenly realized, it's just not working! I started the process of coming out (way back in 2006) and wanted to write about it, hoping to meet people. My blog has shifted a bit now, sometimes gay issues, sometimes every day issues.
12 comments:
Thanks for trusting us. Revealing inner thoughts and "secrets" in a public blog does seem incongruous for someone so private, I suppose, but I do it too!
Sometimes it helps me know what I'm really thinking. And, all the help, support, and friendship (albeit anonymous) has been something I would not have imagines.
hey steven,
just relax. there is no way you will ever maintain complete anonymity no matter how hard you try. you just have to learn to let things happen as they will when it comes to people finding out about you. the people who truly care about you will make their sentiments clear and the rest might talk and try to spread the rumor but that's their issue.
unfortunately, you may find the people who are willing to listen to the rumors and use them to somehow judge you or mistreat you are always going to be there. at least you do have the option to deal with them if warranted or just ignore them.
but, i'm sure the majority of your friends will remain tried and true to you. you seem to be a real, down-to-earth kind of guy that people in real life appreciate and love. at least you have me convinced!
just stay true to yourself, steven.
Just remember that you love the man that you have become and that you are your best friend.
As your "journey" continues, you quickly learn who are your friends and of most importance to you. Here's to continued strength. Steven
I'm still waiting for an add.
[taps foot impatiently]
I am still waiting for an add and a pic of you and Dave (taps both feet even more impatiently)
You know they say you give an inch they take a mile. You've known all along that you can't control what other people think; you only can control yourself. It's just little things like a facebook outing to remind you. If you hide it, it confirms to everyone that it is something that should be hidden. Be proud of who you are...that doesn't mean you have to put on a rainbow speedo and front the next pride parade haha...just be true to yourself and it'll make a world of difference. Glad to hear you and your man are getting on well
yup, still waiting here in cleveland too...(as he sits here and taps his fingers on table)
hey there seems to be quite a bit of tapping here going on! Ok so I want to see you and him too!!! I'll let the others do the tapping. lol
ditto danny
Once you start the process of coming out, it's impossible to stop.
Hi Steven! Don't beat yourself up too much over this picture-thing. It's impossible to hide who you really are, in the long run. This whole debacle might turn out to be a good thing!
Looking forward to your next entry!
I hope the fallout isn't too bad. And you are such a nice person, I don't think it will be horrible.
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