Tuesday, December 18, 2007

My Blond Moment!

I just had a blond moment and I am laughing so hard at myself right now. I can't believe what I did today and you can laugh at me if you want, no not 'with me' this time it is okay to laugh at me! This morning I knew the snowplow was coming to clean the entire parking lot so I was getting ready to dig out my poor little car when I heard him, he came early so I rushed down and started cleaning off the car before I went to dig it out. There was a lot of ice on it so I started the car to warm it up while I was digging it out. I am always paranoid about leaving the keys in the car, I always think what if the automatic locks suddenly lock themselves, then I said to myself, 'it never happened before and everyone else does it. So I brush off my car and "click", yes the doors locked themselves with the car running. At first I did not want to believe it, I kept trying to open the doors hoping it was just ice, but no they were locked. With the car running, the plow getting closer to my parking area and the shovel locked in the trunk which did not allow me to even start to dig myself out, I was in a panic. I ran the seven floors up to my apartment to get the spare set, then ran back down. Walking up to my car feeling embarrassed but relieved, I pressed the 'unlock' button, nothing happened, stunned I tried the other doors, still nothing. I thought if I could just dig out a bit, maybe the car would warm up more and release the locks, but when I pressed to open the trunk nothing happened. I was really under stress now and not thinking clear. I ran back up and called the company I got the car from to see if there was some hidden trick or if they had heard of this before. The lady was very nice, she said she never heard of this happening before and then asked me the most embarrassing question I ever heard, "did you try your key in the door?" "Umm no" I said sheepishly "there wuzz ice'n stuff" I said completely lying through my teeth to save what was left of my manhood, "I'll go try that now" and much to my relief and ego shattering embarrassment, the key worked! I don't think I have ever used the key to open the door since about a month after I bought the car. That is my excuse, if you care even a little about me you will accept it!

HOT GUY ALERT!
I went Christmas shopping today and when noon time hit, I just wanted something quick so I went to a burger joint, while there eating, a really good looking man about my age sat at a table across from me. Something about him made my gaydar start to beep! Don't get your hopes up because nothing happened but the thing is, we did that eye contact game. The one where I look at him when I notice him looking at me, then he shyly looks away and then me looking away when he looks back. I just wish we could all get together and create a signal, one that says "yes I am attracted to you" or "yes I am open to meeting you". It is so hard sometimes, now I wonder if he liked me but was too shy to say hello in case I was straight and went nuts in front of everyone, that is what certainly stopped me. Even it would be comforting to just know he is straight and the only reason for him to stare, was because he thought he knew me. We need some kind of gay hand signals (no jokes) that would help us to meet each other, without the straight guys catching on, getting uncomfortable and thinking their sexuality is being questioned.The next guy alert was when I was finished shopping and getting into my car (I remembered how to, this time), there was a nice Hummer parked near my car and if 'Hummer' does not get a gay guys attention then the plate partly reading 'Iteabag' should get it. That made me laugh, until I saw the young guy that came out and got in. F**K me he was hot! I said to myself "yeah buddy, you can teabag me any time!" I guess 'teabag' is more of a straight guy thing however, not too many gay guys would complain I think if a cute friend puts the boys too close.

15 comments:

Vic Mansfield said...

When I see a hot guy and my gaydar goes off, if he catches me staring, I just give him a smile. I always like to acknowledge another member of the Family. I stay away from picking up guys at random. Been there, done that, hated myself for it.

But it is nice to admire the view.

Anonymous said...

I once locked my keys in the car at work, called the local police who came out, walked around to the passenger side and opened the door. I about died of embarrassment since I never even dreamed of checking that door. Duh!!!

john said...

This was so hilarious!! I can't believe you locked your keys in your car. Usually you have a good head on your shoulders (and a hot one at that)!!

Justin said...

OMG, that made me laugh so hard! I can safely say that I have LOTS of incidents like that. ONE, for example: I was coming out of Wal-Mart digin for muh keys and walking toward my car. I put the key in the lock and turned it. NOTHING! What the heck? This had never happened before. So I tried it again, AND NOTHING! With much frustration I went to the passenger door and tried it (thats when I noticed the lady in the car in front of mine watching me like I was trying to commit some crime. Although I tried not to panic I was getting very mad and the bags were getting quite heavy, so out of frustration I returned to the drivers side door and put my key back in it. It still would not allow me to get in!!!! I whirled around and leaned my back to the door and tried to think of what I could do to get in the car short of busting a window. Thats when I saw it. My car, two parking spaces down. I had been trying to get into someone elses car. GRANTED IT WAS THE SAME MAKE AND MODEL AS MINE. I was so embarrased. I walked to my car all the while looking around to see if anyone noticed what I had done, and then I heard the laughter. The woman who was looking at me like I was a criminal realized my situation, saw my frustration, and laughed at me. I wanted to crawl under my car and not come back out. So dont feel so bad about your "incident", you are so TOTALY not alone.

Scott in Iowa said...

Well, now I feel just as blond. As I was reading that I never once even considered trying the key in the lock until I read what the woman on the phone asked you. Have we become THAT "blond" with our love of and reliance on convenience gadgets?? I actually completely identified with your blond moment, Steven. :-)

Bill said...

Years ago (1970's) my cousin Sheri locked her keys in the trunk of her car. It was summer, hot as blue blazes, and her two brothers cussed and sweated as they removed the back seat to get into the trunk to retrieve the keys. After they got the back seat out and found that the car was made with a solid metal divider between the passenger compartment and trunk, Sheri remembered that there was a button in the glove compartment that unlatched the trunk lid. I'm not sure whether her brothers have forgiven her yet.

daveincleveland said...

thats way too funny, way way, but me being in the car business hear this same problem more than you would care to know....when asked if they tried the key in the door...."oh i didn't know you could do that"...i am laughing with you, not at you...hehehe...and christmas shopping, what'd you buy me....j/k..i love christmas shopping cause you get to people watch and play the game..its soooo much fun

Wayne said...

I "discovered" that the remote won't open the locks with the engine running.
That's all I'm gonna say.

Steven said...

Not to worry Steven. When I bought my Blazer in 1998, I was not off the car lot and locked myself out of the car. My CR-V doesn't allow the driver's door to lock if the car is running, which I learned by almost locking myself out. I, too, cannot recall the last time I have actually used the key to get into my car. In regards to the gaydar signal, I thought that standard cue was two quick blinks, followed by a close of the eyes for a second, followed by two more quick blinks? ;-)

Doug said...

So that's what that other thing on my key chain is for. I never used it to open the door before.

Oh, and I'd tell you the hand signal, but then I'd have to sleep with you, and I barely know you, so you can see the situation I'm in... ;)

psyther said...

That is pretty funny...glad you can have a sense of humor about it :) I bet you won't get locked out of your car again...house is a different story though...

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Joe, I get so nervous I never know what to do, the great thing about blog land is all the tips I have been gathering.

Kevin? Well that makes me feel better, at least no one knows what I did at the time.

John, glad you could get a laugh out of it. Hey are you hitting on me? ;)

Justin, thanks for sharing, I was talking to another blogger and we were reading your comment to me at the same time, you can guess who it was, we both were laughing so hard at your pain! Glad to know I am not alone on this one. :)

Scott, your comment made me feel so good because you are a "car guy" I had actually worried that if you read this you would be thinking I was a total goof. Well I am but I did not want you to think that! Hahaha!

Bill, but she is a woman, we expect these things from women and just over look them as cute things they do. However it is wrong and unacceptable for a man to do them.

Dave, I got you the same thing you got me! Great minds think alike! It would look really really bad for you to do something like this if you deal with cars, your friends would never let you forget it!

Wayne, got it buddy! ;)

Steven, I thought that was the signal as well but the last time I put the moves on a guy, he said he only had dust blown in his eyes!

Doug, I know strange right, how am I suppose to know that the key would open the lock, so smart what will they think of next!
Show me the signal and what a great way to get to know one another, I could practice those squats you told me about! See I have a naughty streak to! Sorry, hahaha! ;)

psyther, hey welcome to my blog! Glad you could get a laugh out of it. I did think it was funny from the second the lady asked me about the key. I don't have problem with laughing at myself, I find it makes life a whole lot easier.

Topher said...

Lmao. There was actually a 911 call about the exact same thing! Never thought I'd know someone who this would happen to :P

Java said...

OK, I'm laughing at you, but only a little bit.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Kris, well at least I did not call in the troops! I just needed to calm down for a second, honestly I never felt so dumb in my life as at that moment!

Java, it is totally okay to laugh at this one, it is pretty funny.