Well in case you guys happen to have forgotten, last night I was invited to a dinner party where there were other gay people invited besides little me. I felt OK about it until a few hours before where I did then begin to feel a little nervous. As I was parking my car my sister came out with a big grin on her face and was saying to come on in. Now what if I told you guys that when I went in to meet everyone there was a cute guy there that I already knew, what if I told you I was shocked to see him there and to find out he is gay also, what if I also told you that after the party he invited me to come back to his place where we stared into each others eyes and talked for hours into the night. That would be pretty exciting for someone like me, however my life is a Mr Bean movie where nothing works out the way I would like it to. So if I did tell you I met a cute guy it would be an interesting story but that is all it would be, a story, a good one but it would be false.
What actually happen went more like this, none of the gay guys showed up, even the straight guys just grabbed something to eat and left in a few seconds. This left Steven in a house full of women, both lesbian and straight. They even joked about poor Steve, stuck with a bunch of women. They were all friendly, the food was really good so I was not about to leave without eating. Kids kept coming to the door and they did this funny thing were if the kids sang a song, they would get extra candy so that was cool to watch. That means basically I am right back to square one. I thought something like this might happen so I have been looking into the local bars and clubs to see which ones are better suited to me, however I am really feeling that disconnected sense I get when looking into places and gay events like this. Right now I feel tired of this whole thing and want to take a holiday from my "being gay" project.
My List
About Me
- Sooo-this-is-me
- Ontario, Canada
- Lived most of my life hidden in the closet and suddenly realized, it's just not working! I started the process of coming out (way back in 2006) and wanted to write about it, hoping to meet people. My blog has shifted a bit now, sometimes gay issues, sometimes every day issues.
9 comments:
Sometimes I feel like coming out can be tiring too.
Awww. I'm sorry about that. Don't give up, though.
Accept invitations where other gay men might be there, regardless of the intent. You worked yourself up for this one, which means you can do it again. It will all happen when it happens. It is what it is.
life is weird sometimes and i bet when you least expect it, you'll run into a guy guy who will introduce to a whole new group of gay friends. it's just a matter of time and patience.
keep at it though. take care
dont be down on yourself and just take your time, it will happen.
you will find your niche, when you least expect it. (yeah i know, i hate it when people say that to me also... but it's true!)
where are you located? put out a call to some bloggers in your area, this will happen for you and you will be stronger for the journey.
xoxoxxoxoxo
Ahhhhhhhh, you got me all worked up with the begining of the post...LOL, I'm glad you had a good time. I have always felt that women make the great circle of friends for me. As far as the bars go, when I was first coming out I went to some of the more up scale bars where no one would bother me and I could sit in peace and soak in the culture for a bit before I exposed myself to the loud sparkly nightlife of the hot spots. it helped me work through my nerves gradualy. I feel ya bud. Maybe you could just stop into one of those bars one afternoon after work and just have a single beer, just to see what it's like, and then jet. Baby steps honey, baby steps.
John, I know what you mean, sometimes it can feel like a job!
Matt, thanks for the support as usual, I won't give up, just got a little down for a while.
Danny, always nice to see a new face, promise I'll keep at it.
Dave, maybe we could start a holiday out of it, yes - no?
Kendall, thanks, I just needed to vent, now I'm back on my feet brushing myself off.
Justin, Yeah my bad, I wanted to get you guys going at the beginning, can I tell a story or what! Sometimes I feel that I'm taking such small baby steps that I'm going to fall on my face.
Now, I told you, We'll come over there and take you out. You'll have a safe couple to hang with, but be available for a date at the same time. Your making this way harder than it needs to be.
Evertyhing happens in weird ways...Mr. Bean.
I know it's really frustrating but hang in there, ma friend and I am really upset that you won't hit on me :(
Wayne, thanks again for the offer, I know I need to relax and just go with it. Even one of my straight friends said he would go with me, I told him no because how bad would I feel if he gets hit on and I don't! O_O
Erik, my life is total "Bean" even my friends laugh about it now.
Oh alright, hey Erik what is a hot guy like you doing in a blog like this? There happy now? ; )
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