Wednesday, August 14, 2019
Hearing a parent's voice when you speak.
As we get older, how many times do we say something and then think, "mom/dad used to always say that"! Often it becomes a joke, a friend will shout a warning, then say, "oh I sounded just like mom there, I always said that I would never do that". I actually don't see the big deal, as long as you didn't have abusive parents, they got you this far and to be honest, many times.. they were right.
Tomorrow is the fifteenth of August already, unbelievably some schools are back in session. The fall fairs are advertising for people to come and enjoy them, the nights here are cool with crickets chirping. I remarked to a friend about this, saying summer is almost over, when it hit me, I sound just like mom!!!
We used to hate it when she would lament about the approaching fall. We would get mad at her, "awe mom stop ruining summer, there's lots of time left". Now I understand her, I see why she felt that way. Why she would keep pointing it out on the calendar. Mom hated winter with a passion, she found it lonely and isolating. To a child enjoying summer, two or three weeks left was an eternity, fall couldn't touch us, even better, school couldn't find me, it was a world away. For an adult hating the thoughts of fall, we know just two more weekends and Boom!!! Summer is over, there's nothing to stop winter now.
I feel that tug as well now, in the fall I always have the feeling that I should be leaving for somewhere. I'm envious of my godparents, they both have good pensions and retired early. As soon as Halloween arrives, they hug us goodbye and return in the spring. I always try to fight off the fall blues, I concentrate on the good aspects of fall which mom would stubbornly never do. Fast forward to today, I know if mom was well, she would laugh and gloat, "see what I mean now"?
I also heard myself saying something mom used to say. Someone was making negative comments about homeless people and how they are always begging for money at the stop lights. How they wanted to tell them, "get a job, lazy bum". I commented that I thought the person was being mean, that it's more about mental illness than just being lazy. Then I said a warning mom used to always give me, "that's someone's brother, sister, son or daughter, how would you feel if it was a family member of yours being made fun of"? The person said, "yeah, you're right, it was was mean of me". Thanks mom.