Monday, February 18, 2019

Wait! Back the truck up!


 Brace yourself, I will ask you to put on thinking caps and I'm going to stir the pot a little.The other night I was watching a program on tv and it was trying to teach us morals. I always get annoyed when Hollywood tries to teach me morals, especially during a sitcom.

 I tend not to get into debates over reproduction, I'm not part of that life experience, so the people that are, need to work it out for themselves. In the show one of the newlywed women, informed her husband that she didn't want children. The show was hinting at "her body, her rules", the husband was disappointed but kept saying that he supported her choice. Naturally, it is her body and she shouldn't let anyone else make her do something that she doesn't want. First off, I thought that was a stupid premise, wouldn't you discuss something that huge (having children) before marriage? They discussed every other stupid topic on the show, if they wanted to teach younger people something, why didn't they have a few difficult episodes before the wedding where the characters had to work out their differences. I think the writers were trying to create controversy surrounding the show.

 This may get a little intense but don't misunderstand me, I haven't gone all evangelical, just follow my track and you will see where I'm going with this. I have watched other shows that had the character of a wife, think that she is pregnant but doesn't want the child. The husband is expected to only support the wife's decision because, "her body, her decision", anything else and he becomes the show's villain. I'm not going there, that would be an awful situation to be in. Here comes my point and I only bring this up in the name of fairness. In the show I was watching, a distant friend discovered he can't produce children so he asked the male characters for one of them to help him and his wife, by being a sperm donor. Since the men weren't going to have the chance to have children they went to say yes; however their wives said NO!

 WHOA! What!?! Back the truck up! What the? What happened to "my body, my choice"? The guys were portrayed as selfish for wanting to do this and selfish for upsetting their wives. The women were portrayed as being sensible. A sperm donation is easier than a blood donation for Pete's sake. That's why I hate anything Hollywood tries to preach to me, so according to them, the wife should have reproduction rights over her husband? In fairness, the women should have been supportive of the husband's choice to help out a friend, anything less is hypocritical, at least that's how I felt watching it.

34 comments:

John Going Gently said...

The subject SHOULD have been brought up before the marriage
But of course subjects like this can be alluded to without going definitive
Many married couples don't communicate adequately
Go figure

Leanna said...

Yeah, the Big Bang episode. It was selfish in a way but think of it this way too. The question came up that if he had donated his sperm and there was a child out there somewhere, he would want to know if the child is being properly cared for, taken care of. That was one of the reasons why he decided not to donate. It was a turnabout is fair play type episode with a morality styled ending.
Many couples do have The Talk before marriage about children, how many, boys vs girls, hereditary defects and diseases, etc. Many men end up bitter because they hardly get the say in those conversations because women pull the My Body My Rules routine. Men should have a say and they should be respected. Sadly women are the ones with the uterus.

Sixpence Notthewiser said...

I don’t have a uterus and have never felt the need to reproduce so this is a touchy topic for me. If they were doing a reality show, of COURSE they were going to manufacture drama with the possibility of the husband asking to have a child and the woman saying no. Typical good cop/bad cop edit. It’s a combo that needs to be had before they tie the know, along with monogamy and money.
As for the wife saying no to the sperm donor situation, I think it’s selfish. Why not? What would be her reasons, apart from not wanting her husband to father a child? I don’t understand that one.

XoXo

Deedles said...

Steven, honey, it's The Big Bang Theory, not a morality play! I own every season on dvd. I find it very funny. I'd be more concerned about Penny's drinking myself. Besides, in real life, people do have the talk. However, feelings change as you go along. I'm selfish. Balder Half's (now blocked) sperm is mine and my (now shriveled) eggs are his and nobody else's! Adopt, for crying out loud. Relax, Stevie. There is serious stuff out there, a sitcom ain't one of them. Oh dear. I vacate the blogosphere for a while and I turn into Old Lurker lite.

Old Lurker said...

Personally, I learn all my morals from television sitcoms, in particular Three's Company.

Not having watched this show, I find myself agreeing with you. What's going on here? Have I turned into a meaner, less articulate version of Deedles??

I understand the impulse that spouses have for not letting their partners be sperm/egg donors, however. One fear is that if I let my boyfriend give sperm to somebody else, he might love that child more than he loves me. So you end up with these "No you can't have a baby with me and you can't have a baby with anybody else either" hostage situations.

Catherine Davis said...

I was going to say TBBT, but your followers have beaten me to it! Phooey! 😇

Sooo-this-is-me said...

John, yes but I think you missed my point.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Leanna, I wish you didn't mention the show, I left the name out because I didn't want people falling down the rabbit hole of the Big Bang show. If he had stayed with his idea of donating, his wife would have tried to stop him. Sheldon's wife screamed no. I just wanted to point out the double standard.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

I think everyone, male and female, has the exclusive right to control their own body, which includes the use of reproductive material. These are not joint decisions and never should be, in my opinion.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Sixpence, I could understand a wife not wanting her husband to do that, I think it's just mean if the wife doesn't want any children herself. I think however if the husband respects her decision not to have children, then she should respect his decision that will not affect her.

Bob Slatten said...

It is a woman's right to choose.Period.
As for the wives who refused to let their husbands be sperm donors, well, that's not quite the same thing because a child will be born and be the child, biologically, of a woman's husband and another woman.
Look, in all things relationship-esque there must be dialogue beforehand, and there must be understanding of the reasons why someone chooses one thing or another.
I'll say this, as a married man, if a female asked Carlos to be her sperm donor, I might have an opinion on the matter.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Deedles, hence my point of not wanting to be lectured to by a sitcom. A sitcom! Deedles words matter, ideas matter, forget big bang for a second, I see this in other shows as well. I'm just asking people to think about it. Penny drinks way too much and it's some big joke, I agree there is a lesson they could think about. Since I have your attention, as a white person, I have always been a little embarrassed that it's an American show and yet they never allow an African-American character on, zip, zero. Not even some of the side characters. Just the odd bit part every now and then, what do you think of that?

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Mr Roper, don't worry about the show, you are not missing much, I have to watch it, I only have one channel. Well... so you agree with me, I guess I am totally wrong then, that settles it. Sorry everyone, I will delete this post. ;p''''
Seriously, you make a good point I hadn't thought about. Still I felt there was a double standard in the show. Respect women's rights to their body but not men.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Catherine, hello! I left the name out on purpose, I didn't want people to start discussing the show plus I have seen the same idea on other shows. I would have banned you for life for mentioning TBBT first! :D hahaha!

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Debra, I think couples should have discussions but I agree, I wouldn't want a partner trying to force their will on me, that could be a deal breaker.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Bob, yes you would have an opinion understandably; however think if your husband donated sperm to a female friend and then you thought it was a wonderful gift, then had the chance to help out one of your friends, would you not be upset if your husband suddenly said, no I forbid you, "you" have to do what "I" want but not the other way around. Of course in the real world, I would do what ever made my partner happy, I just felt there was a double standard of sorts.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Oops sorry Leanna, there was supposed to be an lol in there after big bang show, now my reply just sounds grumpy. Why would a couple discuss how many boys or girls, I don't think you can control that? What do I know however!

Deedles said...

Okay. I didn't mean to be taken so seriously. I watch t.v. for entertainment purposes. I don't care what the cast looks like if I enjoy the show. I remember working at the now defunct Mervyn's and a little old white lady asked me how did I like that show 227. I've never seen an episode and I don't watch stuff just because of the race/s of people in them. I loathed Friends not because there was no diversity, it was just not funny to me! Too many characters in so called Black shows, start out okay and then become buffoons. J.J., Urkel and such. Irritating. As for the show that I won't mention again by name, I found nothing lecturing about it and it didn't offend me in the least. I am also very old fashioned in the baby department. I have strict beliefs on that and I'm not going to start an upheaval over them (oooh, I'm so powerful!). I've seen too much heartbreak over children. I'm not expressing myself well, so I'll go back to hibernating :)

Old Lurker said...

Don't hibernate! Tell us about the little dogs in your icon! Is Cujo in that shot?

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Deedles, ok just wondering no worries. You said something however that makes me like you even more, (like you X 79)X 240 lol, you didn't like Friends and you didn't find it funny, I could never see what the heck all the fuss was about, I hated that show. Darn did I just go off topic. That's funny about the 227, when I first started telling friends that I was gay, they always asked me if I saw Broke Back Mountain, hahaha!

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Now I'm agreeing with Old Lurker, this day is frightening, I'm getting out the Holy Water.

Deedles said...

Old Lurker, those are my furbabies and Cujo is the one in the back. Bella is in the sun (she thinks she's a cat sometimes). That mound is a pile of cement bags covered with a tarp. Cujo sits on that thing for hours sometimes just surveying his backyard kingdom. The critter thinks he's an outdoor dog. He's the four year old Maltese. Bella is a twelve year old bichonpoo. She's a mostly toothless squirrel chasing lady. They both live up to their names :) Thanks for asking.

Old Lurker said...

Deedles: they look fierce!

Steven: You refuse to help your friends clear the roof of the church and you think they'll give you access to the holy water? As if.

mistress maddie said...

Dear, and you wonder why I despise 95% of American television shows.

Ur-spo said...

Oh the pain; best not to watch TV

Leanna said...

Steve? So I'm banned for life? How could you! I thought we were an item.
How could you!
BWAAAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAAAA!!
It's late, I need sleep.

Catherine Davis said...

Whoops, sorry. Didn't mean to offend. Will take my ball and go home now. 😢 Cheers, Cathy.

Old Lurker said...

Don't leave, Catherine! Steven is just being a grouch.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Maddie, I hear you! :D

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Dr Spo, it's just so easy to do after a long day at work.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Leanna, ok, ok you're forgiven! Lol

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Catherine, I'm not offended, thanks for stopping by! :)

Sooo-this-is-me said...

OL, you are a perfect example that I don't get offended, if anyone was going to be banned for life, then..... XD

Sooo-this-is-me said...

.