Not quite there yet

There are times when I read a blog that will state being gay is not that big of a deal anymore. I will also read that most people will accept us or say nothing even if they have a problem with gay people. I really am rubbed the wrong way when it is on a straight blog or in an article that states we have everything straight people have and should stop complaining. I find however it only takes a moment of shopping to have cold water thrown on me as to how much I am 'not' a part of society. Just trying to get a card to give to Dave for our one year anniversary is a feat in itself. I went to two different stores and I quickly saw that I am not even on the customer radar screen. All the cards are geared towards a woman giving her man a card. They all say from wife or girlfriend to man, if they don't say it, then there is a picture of a woman on it. Why not have neutral cards with just happy anniversary. Same with a romantic gift, there is always an indication of man to woman or woman to man. The thing that frustrates me is if I go to a gay store, then everything has a pornographic tone to it and sometimes the moment is just suppose to be romantic. The same goes for any hotel package, trip etc. You never see a gay couple represented in any type of advertising unless in a gay setting. Still to this day if there is a gay couple in an ad, they are there for a laugh. I know some people will say lighten up it is only a joke. I just say back, would we laugh if the commercial used people of a minority race or religion as a stereotypical joke? I don't think so, I think most people would be uncomfortable with an ad like that. Some times I think we surround ourselves with people who support us and that can make us forget the real world, I just want to see a gay wal-mart or sears ad, do that and they would have my business over any other stores. However please don't make your company out to be a hero for doing it, that is like saying "look how good we are for doing what we should have been doing all along".

Today a friend let me down a little with her slip of ignorance. She was stepping around a question until I realised what she was trying to ask me. I said to her "are you trying to ask which one of us is the wife in this relationship!" I told her it does not work that way, maybe some relationships are kind of like that but from the people I know of, I can only think of two. I told her both Dave and I want a man, a husband not a wife. If I wanted a woman I would date a woman. She then went on to ask if I would take her to a gay bar for the experience, great I thought now we have become an 'experience', one where she could go and tell people about how open minded she is and how daring to venture into a gay bar. I explained they are the same as straight bars, a group of guys and girls dancing as friends only every now and then she may see two girls or two guys kissing, that even depends on the bar too. I was also disappointed in the amount of people that she told, I knew that she would be the friend to spill the beans but I had hoped I would not become the "did you hear about" news story in her circle of friends. Sometimes people can be such cliches sadly.