That Man In The Mirror

That man in the mirror, every morning I see him looking back at me, he silently lets me know I look rough in the morning . Time for a shower and shave before I take on the day. He helps me comb my hair, brush my teeth and get dressed properly. He tries his best to make me look at least a little presentable to the world. With an approving smile from him I know I can head out to work, a party or date.

We first met when I was a small boy, he was little then to. When my mom would put me on the bathroom counter to get me ready in the morning, he would be there. So smart, he could do every move I could do at the same time, even if I turned my head away to trick him, the second I snapped my head back, so did he. Over the years he grew up with me, he sang with me while using a hair brush for a mic as I did, we learned our dance moves together, he let me know when I was getting a pimple and that pimple's entire family! We had an intimate relationship as well, I could tell him anything, when I was developing sexually, we often played "I'll show you mine if...." we also had our first sexual experiences together and watched each other intently. Now we are adults, he smiles at me while getting out of the shower and jokes about me being a stud, he shows me I should get into better shape, that I'm losing my hair and gaining wrinkles around my eyes, he is always bluntly honest with me.

That is why I need to keep that man in the mirror happy, when the day comes that I can't look at him, then I know something is wrong. If life is grey then there are areas of grey that I am not suppose to venture into. Something inside tells me when I have crossed a line, something inside says when I am being open to new ideas and when I am going past just being open. I can't have the man looking at me with questions on his face, shrugging as if to say "what do you think you are doing" I have to stay true to him. I try to explain, this is new ground for me and some times I am not sure what is wrong and what is right. He does not buy that, he knows the rules have not changed, just a few new ones were added. There are days where I can get caught up in the sexuality of gay culture but because of that man, I need to remember who I was before and still be that guy, only now gay as well.

He is tough on me, if I make the right choice, I know not to look for a pat on the back. He will only smile in a way that lets me know, I already was aware of what to do from the beginning, so no pat on the back for doing what I should have done in the first place. We are in a good place now, he does not expect me to be perfect and he wants me to have a little bit of fun. He also does not want me to get hurt and hopes I find love. When I rise in the morning I know he will be waiting for me, when I see him I need to know, inside he is proud of who I am.