The Sexuality Of Masculinity

Last week I was watching a show about sexuality. Naturally as usual it started with women, it talked about women, their bodies etc, so I turned the station to watch something else. When the program that I was watching ended and I turned back, I was excited to see they were going to do another hour show on men and masculinity. That is one thing I like also about being gay, the erotic feeling of masculinity. I think that is the reason I do not relate to the really effeminate or drag side of the gay culture. Nothing feminine interests me, only the masculine side catches my attention. Don't get me wrong, I am certainly not super jock, more like super klutz or captain awkward! I just want to date super jock or at least watch him in action. As I watched the show I was a little frustrated because it was the same thing that always happens when they begin to talk about men. They focus away from the sexuality part and begin to talk about aggression, fighting, competition. That used to anger me as a gay teen growing up, information before the Internet was hard to come by. When they would talk about sexuality, it was always the same, forty five minutes talking about girls (yuck) and wrap the shows last fifteen minutes up by talking about guys. Same with these two shows, when talking about women, there were breasts and bodies all over the screen, when they talked about the men, it showed them coming out of the dressing room to play hockey or it would show two guys fighting. I have to ask, really what is more sexual than a man. I was surprised as I thought things would be a little more open towards the male side of growing up and sexuality.

The show did make an interesting statement about when a young woman comes of age and tells her female family members and friends that she has started her periods, as opposed to a young man who does it in silence. That is true, I remember wanting to ask my friends about wet dreams, hair showing up where it had not been before, however it was something not talked about. I actually do remember when I first discovered that I was becoming a man, it was just before I turned twelve and I had watch a really erotic movie on TV, I was getting ready for bed and noticed being kind of wet, I realized what was going on and felt excited and proud but who could I tell without them getting grossed out or angry with me, so like most boys I said nothing. I think it is getting better, gay men are more open but in general it is true, men don't talk about these things. I can remember wanting to be able to, I remember asking my Dad a few questions but his turning completely red and sputtering on his words soon told me never to ask again. There were so many questions I had growing up but not many answers. The focus was so much on women that I am a gay man but I can tell you everything about the woman's body and reproduction system, much more than I ever wanted to know.

This being a gay blog, well then lets talk about men. Sorry this will be a bit shallow and probably jump around as I am not sure what I am trying to say here, if anything. Speaking of sports and competition, I love to watch kick boxing and rugby. There is something about the raw power of the guys going against each other. I am not the only one who feels that way as I see a lot of blog writers also have pictures up of these sports. The clashing, muscles locked in struggle, sweat pouring off the guys, as close to man on man sex as you can get! I think we still learn things about our bodies as men. Even just the other day, when I was totally teasing my special blog buddy, (he is going to kill me for this) I wanted to get him back for comments that made me blush, so since he is not Caucasian, I asked him if "the boys" were darker, he did not understand me, meaning guys with darker skin color usually have a much darker package, if everyone gets my meaning. He did not know that, he did not pay attention and said he would have to check! See I was right buddy! Regarding men's body parts. I always used to get asked, are you an ass man, a breast man? This was the question of course that a lot of straight guys ask, I always gave the PC answer that I liked the woman as a whole person. This was really because I had no interest in the female body. Thinking on that question and putting a gay twist to it, yes I know I need to like the whole guy but just for fun, I would have to say I am totally a buns man. Tastefully done pictures of a man stepping into a shower or whatever but a nice butt is a huge attention getter with me. Oh and absolutely no pictures of where the thermometer goes, that is just gross. On a smaller scale, I like a guy with nice calves, I think because it can be hard for most men to have nice legs, so I notice guys that have thick calves.

Hooking up and anonymous sex, I always say I could never do that, it is just not in my nature, I need to care about the person I am with. I understand it however, the raw animal lust, men acting like simple sex machines with one goal of pleasure, part of me wishes there were no diseases, part of me wishes I was a little more open and in a fantasy world I could see the attraction to it, I could see trying it. It is basic, exciting and there is an element of danger to it, so I won't judge because the raw animal in me understands the one in you.

I really like the normal looking guys, the guy next door type, I am lucky in that I have not fallen into the trap of looking for the perfect model. I like if he is straight acting, again because it is the masculinity that I am attracted to, not butch by gap however. Just an ordinary looking guy, that is what I find really hot, he could be a teacher, accountant, cowboy or doctor. I even know of guys that are a bit fem by nature but they carry themselves with a certain straight air and confidence, I could totally go for a guy like that as well. Actually who am I kidding, lets see if I can make a friend first before I pick a boyfriend.