Legal Action

I have posted pictures on here of my balcony and how I grow plants and keep it spotlessly clean. One of the ways I keep pigeons away is by simply placing small flags around the railing. I figure that if everyone pitched in a little, we can make our surroundings look nicer. That is one of the reasons I will pick up garbage in the hallway if some lazy ass drops it. I think this is my home, I don't want it to look dirty, I also understand that most people these days do not think this way. Even in their own building if they drop something, they always think "oh well they pay people to pick up after me".

Today I received a letter from the company that owns the building, they said it has come to their attention that I have flags on my balcony and screening on the railing (yes dork, for the last FIVE years I have). The letter also stated only summer furniture is allowed on the balcony, I guess no flowers or mini garden. They said to remove them at once and threatened to take legal action if I don't do it within the next few days. The flags were the small ones that you see at a parade, not huge ones, the dark screen was here when I moved in and covered the rails so the pigeons could not fly through the bars, the flags scared them from flying over the top railing onto the balcony, you can't see the screen from the ground and I can't see the harm in having plants and flowers.

This has just upset me greatly, I am a good tenant, I am clean, respectful and always pay my rent. They could have just asked me as I see the manager all the time. If the flags were bothering someone they could have just said "Steve we have to ask you to remove the flags" and I would have done it, not send me a threatening letter. I'm waiting to see if other people remove their flags etc as well. They gave me a list of ways to keep away the pigeons, I say f$%* you! If you want me to do these things then buy them for me and I'll put them up. I honestly give up however, looking at the other balconies with TV dishes and wires everywhere, covered in two inches of bird crap, bikes, old chairs or just years of pigeons building nests and crapping, I will do the same. If they want me to conform, I'll conform, I'll just close my balcony door and let it become a filth hole like most of the others.

I can't help wonder who complained, some crazy old pigeon person that thought it was cruel to scare them from my balcony, maybe one of those bitter people who just can't stand to see someone doing something nice and tries to interfere, or maybe one of those hypocritical Quebec separatists who bitch about Canada flags but work for the Canadian government and live in Ontario for the better health care. Perhaps the pigeons like everyone else, have gotten themselves a lawyer.

Dear building management, please forgive me for trying to keep my balcony clean, for trying to add a little beauty and make it inviting, I promise that you have taught me a good lesson and I will never attempt to do that again. I promise to never pick up paper in the halls either or put some dumb ass's garbage down the shoot who just left it at the door to smell. I promise not to try and clean all the salt and snow from my boots, I'll just walk in like most others do. Now don't you worry, the next time someone asks me "is this a good place to live" I will be sure to tell them how you are on top of the flag situation... but can fall behind quite a bit when it comes to repairs.

Tired Of Being An Adult

I'm tired of being an adult, when does the clock turn back, I'm really ready for it right about now. When do I get to be a kid again, when will I get to go back home and just have my parents look after things. I could just worry about squeezing all the play time in before I have to go to bed. No bills, banks, falling stocks, relationships, dating, rent, taxes, elections or sucky jobs. When do I just go back to my old school, have my teachers come back, see all my friends again and we could talk about what it was like to grow up and all the hard things everyone had to do. We could all say "whew, glad that part of life is over" and just go on with being a kid again. We would all be young again, no greying hair, wrinkles forming, back pain and we could run forever without getting tired. When will my grandmother be back in her kitchen, the smell of fresh baked goods and a big smile to greet me with her "hello pet", and then later play games with us and listen intently to what a six year old had to say. Where is my grandfather to pick at us. When will my other grandmother be back at her piano to play tunes for us to sing along with. All my cousins would reunite and we could pick up where we left off with our games of tag, kick the can and red rover. Where is my dog. Who are all these old people in our neighbors houses, I want them back the way they were. I could tell some of my favourite aunts and uncles "boy I really missed you when you died during my teen years, I am so glad you are back now!" Is this crazy world going to halt soon? I would like to go back now, to when birthdays were a good thing to have, to when Christmas was magical and not stressful, to when Halloween was a fun thing to do between neighbors and not a religious conflict or candy grab. A time when ghost stories told by an older child were the gospel truth. I wish it was like the old days, when frustration built up too much you could just sit down, take a deep breath, cry out loud and someone would come and make it all better. Some days I feel I have had enough, so I am happy that it will all go back to the way it was before... any minute now.... I'll just wait here.

Ten Of The Stupidest

We all, over our life time as gay people have had arrows shot at us directly or indirectly by the stupid comments people can make. As we get older and more accepting of who we are, we also (I feel) form a thicker skin and part of that is realizing the hurtful comments are coming from real idiots, not idiots as in I am angry at them for making the comments, idiots as in actual idiots! It is interesting to note that with most straight people, the more education, intelligence they have and well traveled they are, the more open minded and accepting they are towards gay people. Just for gay bitchy fun I thought I would list ten of the stupidest anti-gay comments that actually have been said to me in the past, little did they know a gay spy was amongst them!

1) Gay people deserve what they get, they are only doing it for attention you know, so if they get beat up or aids they shouldn't come crying to everyone after.
Well so your telling me people hide the fact they are gay for years just to get attention?

2) This gay stuff all started with those hippies and women rights groups in the sixties, gays want their rights like they gave them to the 'blacks' and now look at the mess things are in.
D'uh since the sixties, what about being mentioned in the bible, I think it was written before the sixties bright stuff! I think the last part of the comment can just stand on it's own as far as being dumb.

3) In every gay relationship one is always the wife and one is always the man, does not matter guys or girls.
Yeah and you read this fact where exactly? Not from what I am seeing!

4) Hey did you hear what the letters in F-A-G stand for? Got-aids-yet! Oh no wait a minute I think I said that wrong.
No I think you just said enough for this year.

5) I can always tell a gay guy from everyone else, it is in the way they act and talk, you can just tell, I could never be around one of them.
Ummm, I'm sitting right here, you know, "better to be thought of as a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt!"

6) Things would be just so much better for gays, and people would be a lot more accepting if they just hide their whole life style at home out of sight from the rest of us.
I think we tried that for the last couple thousand years and as Dr.Phil says "its just not working for us".

7) You can tell some people are gay even from when they were a small child but you know I don't believe people are born gay, they turn that way when they become an adult, how could a little kid be gay.
Do you ever actually listen to what comes out of your mouth?

8) Gays are gross man, they are always staring at guys, making sexual comments and hooking up with people they don't know and sleeping with them.
Unlike you and your straight friends who drool at girls, make sexual comments as they walk past and pick up girls in bars for a Friday or Saturday night bed warmer. I won't even mention that some of you are married with children and it may shock your dumb ass to know there are a lot of gay men in committed relationships!

9) Being gay is wrong, it is against God.
You told me you don't believe in God.
Then it is against nature.
Well nature made them that way then.
Yeah but it is against something so it is wrong! I would never want a gay kid, I would kick him out of my house!
Well you sold drugs so I guess you would be doing your kid a favour.


10) I have nothing against fags it is just that I don't like those people, maybe that makes me racist not to like them but if I am being racist against them so be it, that is just how I feel.
Fag is probably not the most 'PC' word you could use if you are trying to look 'PC' but I think you would probably want to look up the word racist and compare it to bigoted.

I am sure everyone has come across statements like these in the past and we just have to let the ignorance in which they were made, take the sting out of them. Now an oldie but a goodie, not included in the 'ten' but I am sure you have heard this one over and over like I have, every one's favourite, say it with me... "he just needs to keep looking and he will find the right girl" or "if she just marries a nice guy, after a couple of kids she would settle right down"! Keep looking at the purple sky in your little worlds, the rest of us will go on living in the 'real' world.

Self Doubt, My Old Enemy

Last night I had a visit from an old enemy, my self doubt about my sexuality. It came in a wave of emotions, I was quite shocked with how strong it was and also in wondering where it suddenly came from. I was lying in bed with Dave and I had a feeling that this was not where I was suppose to be. That I was meant to be a man with a wife and family, not lying next to another man. That I am going against God, nature, the universe or what, I am not sure of. It almost made me tear up in frustration, I don't understand what I am suppose to do with this. I have known that I am gay since I was young so there is no confusion there. I have zero attraction to women so I could never attempt to fake a marriage, plus I could never 'use' another person for my own gain. I read about a lot of men who tried to lead that life but being gay will call you out sooner or later, so I know I made the right choice there. I don't understand God's plan or nature's mistake which ever it is. I am trying to do the best I can with what I have and I thought a relationship with a guy like Dave is the right path for me. Now I feel stuck again, either way I am going against the grain, if I date a guy then I am going against society, if I date a woman (never will) I am going against my sexuality. I will not go back to being single, I don't want to be alone anymore and Dave means the world to me. I did not say a word to Dave, I did not think he would understand.

Maybe I should not have been surprised, I guess these feelings may have been lurking at the surface and I was just ignoring them. Dave never pushes me, however sometimes I 'feel' like he does. I have to remind him that I just came out, he is supportive and understanding of this but sometimes where he sees no problem, I see a mountain. We did have a discussion before bed that may have helped trigger these feelings. I had just met a couple more of his friends and some times that unnerves me because they know right away that I am gay. I don't have my comfort wall of being able to gauge them first and even though they accept Dave and are happy for him, I feel that a stranger knows my inner most secret, one that I had guarded even from my closest friends for years. I know it sounds strange but it takes a bit out of me then that happens, meeting new people as a gay man that is. We don't argue (yet) but the discussion was he wants me to come to a party with him as his date. I have done this before and again this will be with a bunch of people from his work. The thing is some do not know he is gay and I told him I am not up to being his way to announce to everyone that he is gay. At first he did not understand and insisted that I come. I told him the truth, that I am tired of going to parties with all straight people that are strangers to me. I am tired of being the "gay couple" at the parties and BBQs, I don't want to be that accessory where people think their party was cool because there was a gay couple there. I know it is nice that he loves me and wants his friends to meet me but I reminded him of my coming out only a few months ago and said this is taking a toll on me. He then understood, he asked if it would be okay if some of his gay friends wanted us to come for dinner, I said I would like that very much, I think it would be more relaxing, at least I would not feel like a novelty. Dave's friends are great, they have known for years he is gay but not everyone at his work knows and whether kind or not I am not always up for this yet, I still find it hard. Entering a party as a gay couple makes me feel the large exposure.

I don't want to chicken out on who I am but I would rather ease into this life. Maybe that is why the sudden regression in thinking has returned. I have to work through this and banish those thoughts. As I said before, where am I suppose to go with this, someone or something made me a totally gay man and if that someone or something feels it is wrong, then it is their mistake, I am just trying to live with it the best I know how.

Ironic Double Life

I have suddenly found myself in an ironic double life. I used to be this quiet shy straight guy that just had not found the right woman yet. That was how everyone knew me, they did not know about my being gay, having friends on the net, searching for the strength to change or the courage to come out. No one knew I had a boyfriend for a short time in my twenties, it was a secret world only in my head mostly, the straight life was the one I was leading. Now however it has become reversed. To my friends I am a gay man, to my sister I am a gay man. To some new friends that I have made, they have always known me as a gay man. To Dave I am his boyfriend, to his friends, family and clients I am the guy dating him, again to them I have always been gay. I am beginning to feel comfortable with this, it feels like where I should be.

The reverse to my life happens now when I go to visit my parents. There I am the straight guy again, the proper son, and I am not comfortable in that role any more. I recall the childhood days when winter would come, the coats and sweaters that I wore the year before no longer fit me, I had out grown them. No matter how much I tugged at the jacket it would ride up my sleeves or expose my stomach to the cold. The straight role does not fit me any more and I feel my parents don't really know their son. I had borrowed the movie Broke Back from Dan, as I mentioned before, my Dad had said that he wants to see the movie, mainly because he loves cowboy movies. I thought I would play it and maybe open up a discussion about gay people, how we don't choose this, that it is part of who we are. I did not show it to them however as my Mom reminded how hard they can be on people.

As I walked into the kitchen, my Mom said 'take a look at this' and threw down some pictures in disgust. I looked at the pictures to see my very pretty cousin, her handsome fiance and their cute as a bug baby. They are distant cousins so we do not keep in contact with them. I was surprised by the baby, the plan was over a year ago they were to be married but they had an oops-baby and so had to stop the wedding as she was due at the same time. They will resume plans and wed in June. Mom was disgusted, she said 'will that family never learn, that is terrible'. I said for Mom to step back a little, first they planed long before the baby came to get married so it was not like a shot gun wedding, second they are to be married this spring, third is was not perfect but they will end it well. The family is cute, they are both educated adults, doing well for themselves, down to earth and generally really nice people. I said most couples are doing the same thing only they got caught. Really, no one is having kids any more so it is actually exciting to see a baby in the family. Mom would just not see it that way, she insisted that it was horrible, they were filth for letting this happen, it was an embarrassment to the family and I suddenly knew that I would never be able to tell her. She was not always this hard on people, hard but not like now. As my parents get older they are becoming less and less reasonable, I always figure they worked hard all their lives, were good parents to us, so I don't argue anymore. I want then to glide into their final years happy. I am at a loss as what to do, Dave is very understanding. For now I will leave it but there may come a time when I want to move in with Dave and then it will be pretty plain what is happening. There is also going to be the day when one of my new friends that knows me as a gay person, will turn out to be related to someone that knows my parents, with small towns and huge families, that always happens sooner or later.

Ironic how the role is now reversed, for a day or two I am a straight guy again and I find it sad that my parents don't know the life I lead now, because this is the one that finally makes me happy.

Rewind, Remember, Remembrance.

The last few days I have been reading coming out and related stories from some of my favourite younger blog writers, this always brings a lot of emotions up for me. First I am always happy that they are dealing with this now and getting this over with at such young ages. I actually find it a little funny sometimes to read where they are angry with themselves for waiting until they were really old like 22 or 23! Can we say gay retirement home! Seriously I am so proud of these guys and they can have normal lives where they get to date, party and form relationships, the kind of things young people should get to experience. They won't have to deal with hiding, lying and deceiving the people around them, I think it is almost beautiful this won't be a part of their world. The next emotion that comes up is always my "missed time" emotion, I try to shove it to the back of my mind but I can't help it. I often talk about this with my buddy John since we are around the same age, he helps me a lot by reminding me what things were like when we were younger. Now I am beginning to let it go and forgive myself, I mentioned that I wanted to work on this before.

Back in the day, just after the last of the dinosaurs died, when we were teens life was quite different then. I would say even in the last ten years things have really changed. Gay life is much better now but I'm still waiting for a gay Coke or Pepsi commercial! We did not have ANY positive gay role models. There have been a lot of gay characters on TV in the last ten years and I think that really helps a young person think they are not alone and makes them feel normal. I know it is still hard for today's gay youth to come out but they don't know the world I grew up in. I often joke but it is a true fact that in the eighties and early nineties, people like Elton John, Boy George and George Michael all denied being gay, however not that I would have looked to them as role models. By today's standards that would be like Clay Aiken and Ricky Martin saying that they were not gay, oh wait a minute.... well you get what I'm trying to say.

There is a story that happened in my town that I have been thinking over, I was not going to post about it but I think it helps me understand why I felt such an obsessive need to hide my being gay. In the small country township where I grew up, the high school and elementary school were beside each other so there was still a lot of interaction between the two. When I started high school a new teacher (Dan) started teaching in the elementary school. Dan was the kind of very serious and strict teacher that the kids feared but respected as well. Very good at his job and usually after a few weeks with any new class he was the kids and parents favourite teacher. He was also sometimes hired to help tutor kids for extra help. I had met Dan only once really, but I saw him interacting with the other kids many times, he had been friendly to me and I could tell he was the type of guy where if you treated him with respect, you could expect it in return. Needless to say he was admired in the community.

One day he did not show up for work, everyone thought it was strange that there was no word from him. The next day we found out he had been murdered, stabbed to death I believe. Everyone was shocked, he was such a nice guy no one could figure out why someone would do this to him. The papers and camera crews came to our town in droves, there were dozens of parents and teachers willing to tell with heart felt sadness what a wonderful person he was, how important he had become to everyone and how we will miss him. Everyone wanted the animal who did it to be caught, locked up and put away forever. They finally caught the guy and that is when peoples opinions turned suddenly.

The guy admitted to the murder, he was a drug addict who needed money and the reason he had targeted Dan was because he was 'gasp' gay! What! No that can't be true! The town reeled under that revelation! At first the guy was kind of like so I killed a gay guy "so what". When he saw that was not going to fly in court he then started to say Dan had hit on him and he freaked out and killed him, only problem was that he met Dan in a gay bar and went home with him. As horrible as this was, also terrible was a gay kid observing how his family, neighbors and friends reacted. The reaction was swift, when reporters came back, no one would talk to them, no one wanted to be associated with a "queer," no one knew him anymore. It was a great shame to be thought of as his friend and no one wanted that shame. In silence I sat and listen to people say "that's the thing with those homos, you never know if one of them is around" or " you have to be so careful they could be anywhere" or "I wonder what special lessons he gave the boys over the girls." I even remember my friends talking about it and saying "I could forgive a thief or murderer but I could never have a fag for a friend." I have to ask, how much damage does that do to a gay kid to hear in his friends eyes, he is way lower than a murderer or thief. After that Dan was never mentioned again, the town wanted and did forget him. This clearly showed me what would happen if I were to come out, actually who the fuck am I kidding, see at that time kids where was no such thing as "coming out" it was more you were "found out!" So to rephrase that I could clearly see what would happen to me if I was found out, everyone would have turned on me. Years passed Dan and you were lost to history, but you were not forgotten. There was a gay kid who would remember you, not about the tragedy or your one mistake, but he would remember what was good about you, a great teacher, well respected and a good guy, that also happened to be gay.

Shock! How Did That Happen?

Even though I am gay, I do know how babies are made. What really shocked me is that so many straight people don't seem to know. I say this because lately every time I am trying to find real news, the web pages are filled with the latest earth halting story, yes the Spears tramp II is knocked up. At first I felt sorry for her and figured she will now be part of the feeding frenzy for the paparazzi. However what has my eyes rolling is how everyone keeps saying how this "shocked" them. She said how it shocked her, he said how it shocked him, the mother said how shocked she was, the old lady down the street was shocked, some guy in a far off country tending goats on a mountain side was shocked. Shocked how? What part of inserting your penis and ejaculating into a vagina causes babies, do people not understand. This may "shock" many of you but that is how babies have been made since mankind has walked the earth. Shocked is if Bigfoot walked into a mall, if Elvis came out of hiding, or if Clay Aiken turned out to be gay. A Spears having sex and being sloppy or careless about it is not shocking.

The next dumb thing that came out of this, is the statement, "I don't believe in premarital sex," um excuse me? Yes you do! If you did not believe in it, you would not be doing it. Reminds me of that famous quote "I'm still a virgin" while that girl's boyfriend was saying he was having the best sex ever? This is like when a person is caught drunk driving and then they tell people they believe driving under the influence is wrong, no you don't because if you thought it was wrong you would not have kept doing it until you got caught or killed someone. If everyone had of just said 'major oops' and then went on to concentrate on this child having a child I would never think twice about it, just don't come out with these ridicules comments, just because you have a hit CD or TV show, does not exempt you from judging others when you find yourself in the same boat. If premarital sex is wrong in your eyes, then it is wrong for you as well. If sex with another man is wrong in your eyes, then you better not get caught doing it with a stranger in a public washroom. Society has the same rules, detects hypocrisy quickly and you will only end up with extra egg on your face.

The last thing that made me laugh was this morning, a picture of the Spears mother looking like her t-shirt would explode at the breasts, was saying she is going to put her book regarding how to raise children on hold for now, the little brat in me wonders if she is changing the title from 'How To Raise Children' to the new title of 'How NOT To Raise Children!' Should become a best seller everywhere for people with daughters, read the book and do the opposite.

Note To Self

Note to self, I'm angry with you! Sometimes when reading articles or other blogs I run across the term self forgiveness, or even self apology. When thinking on these terms, especially regarding being gay and coming out, I feel I owe myself a huge apology, the strange thing is at the moment I can't accept the apology. I have a lot of anger inside regarding how I have acted in the last ten years. I can forgive the younger years, times were harder for gay people then, I was a scared confused gay kid, however I managed to start a relationship during those times so why shut down later. Part of me wants to ask myself, why the anger and that is when the gates open.

I want to yell at myself, I want to ask, when did I feel it was alright to step out of life. When did I get complacent about finding a relationship. Why did I choose to hide. I want to tell myself I should be ashamed for taking the easy road, avoiding conflict at all cost but the cost turned out to be high. Ashamed also for taking the easy road out of shear laziness of not wanting to put the effort into being gay and some of the conflicts that would come with it. Why did I worry what everyone else wanted, instead of what I needed for myself to have a fulfilled life. Why did I lie about my life to please others, to pretend to be part of their world. That is the truth of it, their world, not mine. I was to co-exist with them but in my own social world.

I used to tell myself that I would date a guy if he asked me out, but if I never put myself out there, if I never made the effort, how was anyone suppose to find me. It was not up to someone else to come and rescue me, it was up to me to go out and look for him. I need to say sorry for letting myself go, part of my excuse to not attract men, for never going out and only moving through the straight world, even still! For giving up even before trying.

How could I have been so stupid to let my youth pass me by, to miss the opportunities and experiences that life has to offer only a young person. To place myself in a position where most of the good men that want to settle down are already taken, leaving me to choose from men that have become jaded over time from being exposed to the gay culture too much. Men also that want a relationship but don't want to work towards one, it is now all their way or no way. Why did I not come out to the people who I knew would accept me. Why did I not come out to people who revealed their secret to me. I don't like that answer but I know what the truth is. There is a dark side to my personality, that is I like having power over people. Telling people I'm gay gives my power away and maybe even gives them a weapon. Knowing someone else's secret, makes me feel trusted but also gives power to me. In being too tight with the control over my life, I let it slip away. Note to self, of all the people who should have been looking out for me, you betrayed me the most!

Creep, not the song.

Reading through other blogs, I see where people have been put into uncomfortable situations or someone tried to drag them out. Even though coming out has been going well so far, I did have someone try to drag me out at work and it was not meant in a positive way either. I used to work closely with a small group of five people. One of the guys in the group I greatly dislike. He is a loose cannon and you can never trust him, he has also been in affairs with married women and could care less about the families that he harms. He took notice that I never seemed to date or mention women and he started to make comments to me, hinting that he knew I was gay. If he had of been someone that I trusted, I probably would have been ready to tell the truth but not to him. I considered him to be a socially dangerous person in and out of work. One day I had to show him a new procedure so he pulled his chair over beside me to learn. While I was showing the procedures, he looked around and then put his hand on my knee and said "you like that". I just laughed and thinking nothing of it, an attempt at a bad joke, brushed it off. He looked around again and put his hand back but higher up on my leg, he said "feels nice uh, I know you want it", I was still thinking this had to be a joke and brushed his hand off. He put it back only this time even higher. He was staring at me and he said "its OK, I won't tell anybody, I know you are", I hit his hand off and told him to just pay attention to what we were doing. This time he placed his hand high enough on my thigh that he was covering my car keys and said, "don't be like that, you live alone, we could go back to your place, no one would know, there is nothing wrong with it, I know you want to". By now I was really creeped out and said out loud to embarrass him "no, I don't want to and you better back off"!

Bringing attention to what he was doing seemed to stop him in his tracks, he quit after I said that out loud. The strange thing is that I am still not sure if that was an attempt to trick me into coming out to him or if he was trying to sample the grass on the other side of the fence. His personality could make it go either way, he is sexual enough that I would not be surprised if he wanted to try it with a guy. He could never go more than twenty minutes without making a sexual comment and they were always very vulgar, it never bothered him who was around, whether there were women, company guests, etc. It could have also been the other, in that he has a very cruel sense of humour and he would have taken great delight in outing me to everyone at work, it would have given him a feeling of power over me. Of all the people at my place of work, he would have been the last one that I would ever have thought of telling. I realized I had let my guard down around this person and from now on if I had to work close with him it would be "straight shields up Captain" to try and throw him off. I hate to think what would have happened if I went through this two years ago, I think I would have been really thrown off. I was starting to think of telling people when this happened so I was in a better state of mind and could cope. I figured if I kept it quiet it would look like I was hiding something so I told my coworkers. They agreed with me, they were not sure if he was joking or if he was really coming on to me, he is just that sort of a strange person, no one can tell with him. He insisted to them that he was only joking and never tried it again. If he was only joking, then what was his plan if I had of said yes! I would never go with a married man anyway since I am respectful of any relationship but I could not help think, of all the guys that I work with, I was hit on by the one guy that I can't stand!

Your humour, is lacking humour.

This past weekend I was over at my friend's place, something we do about once a month, dinner, beer, chips and rent videos. One of the movies we watched was Wild Hogs ( Tim Allen, John Travolta etc). First I have to say I knew it was not going to be the best movie I would watch this year, there are a few funny moments but I do not suggest you run out and rent it. What I want to comment on is the humour at the beginning of the movie. I am not so sensitive to gay issues that I can not see the humour in some situations that come up. At the beginning there are some awkward moments between Travolta and William H Macy played out as Macy coming on to Travolta, I did not find it funny but did not give it much thought. I became uncomfortable and offended when they brought in a character playing a lonely gay highway patrolman. They kept playing on gay innuendo and the awkwardness of the main characters trying to avoid being hit on by the gay patrolman. Even after this lame scene was played out, they brought him back to play this out for a second time. I was thinking who wrote this, a bunch of twelve-year-olds. I thought that sort of humour went out back in the eighties. It really irritated me because the message I received from those scenes was that gay relationships, feelings, people are still something to laugh at. I don't mind a joke if someone is laughing with us but not at us, is this not the same kind of humour as when people used to make fun of bearded ladies, conjoined twins and mentally handicapped people. We can compare the patrolman scenes to the main character Macy plays. A straight man who is also lonely and single, here however when he finds someone it is played out as romantic and we are suppose to get the happily ever after feeling from it. I wonder if I am just being over sensitive, it would be interesting to hear from anyone else who saw the film and let me know if you felt a little offended by those scenes.

Are there any really funny gay jokes out there. I don't mean as in tell me one (well you can if you want) I mean as in truly funny. I say this because most of the gay jokes I have ever heard always end up with the gay person either dead or with AIDS and I never saw the humour in that. I always think what if you change the word gay into a race or religion in some of these jokes, would people find them as funny? The real funny thing is that now when I hear someone tell these kind of jokes, I always think, "oh I feel sorry for you, I did not realize how ignorant you are".