Okay, being lazy again.

I'm being lazy about blogging again so here goes.


Little Holiday story........
There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process
all the mail that had illegible addresses.
One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to - God - with
no actual address. So, he thought he should open it to see what it was about.

The letter read:

Dear God,
I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small
pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in
it, which was all the money I had until my next pension
payment. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of
my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have
nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you
are my only hope. Can you please help me?

Sincerely,

Edna


The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all
the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and
came up with a few dollars. By the time he made the
rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an
envelope and sent to the woman. The rest of the day, all the
workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she
would be able to share with her friends.

The Holiday came and went. ... A few days later, another letter came
from the same old lady & , again, it was addressed to God. All the
workers gathered around while the letter was opened.


It read:

Dear God,

How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me?
Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious
dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my
friends of your wonderful gift. By the way, there was $4
missing. I think it might have been those bastards at the post office.

Sincerely,

Edna

Hope this made you smile, now I'm off to see my honey bunny! ;)

Just Joking.

Nothing much to say except I just saw something funny and I wanted to share. I was watching a comedy show and a woman was playing the role of a little girl. She sadly said to the crowd, "there are thousands and thousands of McDonald's restaurants in the world and you know how many cows have to die each day to supply those restaurants? Three!"

Not Coming Up Roses

Tonight I'm not really in the mood to post anything serious so lets talk about the tube. Since I'm a little bit gay myself, I like to see any other decent gay person make it in the world. It is getting better for people whether in business, government, acting, singing etc but there still can be road blocks. The other night Dave and I sat down to watch the new 'Rosie O Donald Live' show, in spite of her few melt downs and being some what of a loud mouth, I still like Rosie. Did any of you see the show? I was hoping for a hit, I wanted this to be a come-back for her, however we sat there in silence. I thought it was terrible, Dave thought it was terrible, the lines were read like a high school play, she had a lot of not so famous actors show up and say a few lines, the jokes were awful and it made me think of a show that was produced back in the fifties. I know she said she wanted to do a variety hour like the old Carol Burnett show, but it should of had an up dated feel to it. We can forgive the shows from back then as it was all new to entertainment however there is no excuse now. I think you will see this flop fast unless they get better writers and quick! I hear it is very hard to get into the business, so I would think that whoever put this show together, should have enough experience to step back and say "hold it everyone, this just is not working" people have so many choices these days that they will click away and it is very unlikely that they will come back. I'm not trying to rain on her show, but as "family" I want to see her do well so I hope something changes fast. We taped the show and I am sorry to say mostly hit the fast-forward button.

Thursday In Canada

Today is Thursday in Canada, just a Thursday, like any other Thursday where people go to work, come home, eat supper, watch a bit of TV and go to bed, nothing else! Well... so to all my American friends out there I would just like to say ... you are what you eat! ;P




Well unless you eat tofu or salad today then that just spoils my smart-ass-y-ness.

I Did Not Know

I did not know that when they say not to bring any cameras or recorders to a concert, they don't actually mean it anymore.
I did not know that they no longer search people for recording devices at concerts.
I did not know that I need not worry about having my camera taken away.
I did not know that everyone at the Celine Dion concert 'except me' would bring their camera.
I did not know that Dave got us front row seats, I knew that we would be close but not that close.
I did not know that the spot light would shine on the place where we were sitting as the beautiful Celine walked towards us upon entering to sing.
I did not know she would stand one foot from me.
I did not know that she would sing about six feet from us and wave to us.
I did not know that at the end of the concert she would stop and grab Dave and I by the hand.
I did not know I was going to have the most wonderful time at a concert ever.
I did not know that I could bring my camera... I did not know that I would have no way of showing it. :(

It was a great concert, Dave 'knows people' and I can't believe we went from not being able to go, to having front row seats. It was the last of my birthday presents from Dave, he is just too good to me. I wish I brought my camera but I'm not sad, I just wanted to tell people she grabbed my hand. Dave and I are like school girls over this, we just think it is cool in a funny way. When she was walking out, Dave reached his long arm out and called her name, she firmly grabbed him by the hand and I thought it would be cool to touch her so I touched her arm and she grabbed my hand and gave it a quick squeeze. There were so many people trying the same thing though it was not like she could sit down and chat with us lol.

ID Please

Well I made it back safe and sound, I have to say I had a great time this past weekend. As I get older I find the thought of my birthday scarier than Halloween. As per Patrick's request, I will include the list I was given since both Dave's and Patrick's lists made me laugh. Dave's actual list...

Friday evening: Very cute cowboy outfit.

Saturday: Hiking boots, jeans, sweat shirt, long-johns, old jacket, hat. Extra clothes in case.

Saturday evening: Nice shirt, dress pants, tie, nice jacket, dress shoes.

Saturday night: No clothes required, just a towel and Kleenex.

Okay I really noticed the last one too. Friday we went to my sister's party and Dave mingled really well with everyone, he had a great time (I'm so glad). My sister really likes Dave and that is a bonus for me. We went as cowboys and laughed when we got there because 2 out of every three people were dressed as a cowboy. Some people joked that they did not receive the 'cowboy memo'. For my U.S readers there was a woman dressed as Palin and she did such a good job, even with some of her actions. While the dinner goes on we also hand out candy to the kids who come to the door. I like the little ones between two and five years old, they are so wide eyed, not sure whether the desire for candy out weighs the desire to run! For a Friday evening there were not many children and my sister was a little disappointed. After the dinner and conversation, Dave and I went out dancing at a gay bar with some of the gay women who were at the party. I was asked for my ID!!! :) I said "are you kidding me" and Dave laughed and said to the woman at the door "he is turning *BLANK* tomorrow"! She looked at me again and said "okay you can go ahead, sorry it is just that your glasses hide all the wrinkles around your eyes" ouch.. b.. bb... bitch! Around one in the morning after we had shaken our little buns enough, we decided to leave and realized it was good that we came early, there was a line up around the block to get in. Plus Dave had plans for me on Saturday and said we needed to leave by 10:30 am. I have pictures of what we were up to but I just have not down loaded them yet, I'll post them tomorrow and talk about some of the stuff we did. Now I have to see what you people have been up to!

All Hallows Eve

Aaahhhhhhhhhhhh! Run everyone and remember, if you split from the group, you will be next! Muhahaha! Happy Halloween kids! I am starting a little early because I will not be around for a few days and I wanted to have my blog fun now. Death came the other night for my poor tomato plants. Tomorrow night is my sister's annual Halloween dinner, it is fun we have good food, friends and watch the kids come for treats. My sister, like her brother (me) has a bit of a brat streak in her. She likes to make up her front yard with things that jump out at you when you enter her grounds. I mean grounds, as in ghoulish grave yard, she has fun turning her front yard into an old story book haunted grave yard, none of this 'PC' smiling happy face ghosts. The best part is usually the kids are trying to calm down the mothers.


Make no bones about it, we both have the same liking for scary things, even as little kids we have always liked scary movies, stories, books etc, however that is we like scary movies and not gross or gory movies. Does any one remember the Saturday morning oldies, Abbott and Costello or even Laurel and Hardy, being chased by the wolfman, bats or vampires, for kids those were scary and fun days, we never knew whether to laugh or be scared. It often brought in our parents to get a kick out of us watching the same movies they watched when little. Halloween for us was just a fun time to dress up and go visit neighbors, for kids stuck out in the country this was a welcome break from the isolation. It is sad that so many people want to ruin it for kids now, the usual bunch that is always at it, sucking the fun and life out of everything, like vampires only their pay off is monotony and control

After the dinner and scaring the crap out of little kids, a bunch of us are going to a gay bar for a little drinking and dancing, more bad behaviour, oh yeah! That night it will be back to Dave's for the night. I am a little excited about this because the next day, he has plans for me. It will be my b'day and he has a weekend planned out but will not tell me a single thing. He just gave me a list of different types of clothes I will need for the days and evenings. I am not even sure if we are staying in this city. I do not care if he takes me somewhere exciting or relaxing, I am excited that someone has planned something out for me and I totally appreciate that. Still the not knowing is a bit like being a kid on Christmas morning. Did I just say Christmas, yikes back to Halloween, the other will be here soon enough.


The Haunted House. On my way home to see my parents, I was saddened to see that an old farm house on the way there, had been torn down. There are plans to build homes along that road because it has a river view. I am sure every new home will be nice, in fact so nice that every home around it will be build exactly like it, except for the door or siding colour. I was sad to see the old house go as it to me was standing history. It was even still in use last year. Gone too is the ghost story within. The house was quite old, at least a hundred years or more and through the years the original children grew up and left, leaving behind their parents to age and eventually die. Even before my time, for many years the house sat empty. One night a man returning from a late binge on the town, saw a glowing figure standing in the door, knowing no one lived there anymore, plus being of Irish background and hearing the old people's stories of spirits, banshees and devils there was no way he was going to stop and check it out. At first he said nothing, people would blame the drink he well knew. However as many a night traveller passed the house, she appeared. In the door, the glowing figure, waiting, peering out. People began to talk, many had saw the figure, many felt it must be the old woman who had lived there all her life, lost or confused and so she stays bound to where she knows, her house. It soon became that many of the superstitious people were afraid to pass the house at night. Finally some men had become curious and wanted to investigate, including a family member who came back to see what was going on. They stayed around one night, at first nothing happened but then suddenly a glowing started to appear at the front door, a long slender figure, and staring at the light, they saw it was actually coming from upstairs. To their surprise they discovered that light was coming from a passing car as it came round the corner on the road, the light would shine directly on a long mirror in the hall upstairs and reflect back out, giving the appearance of a glowing light in the house where no light should shine. In the last few years, road work and clearing of brush had exposed the once hidden mirror to certain headlights, it was all in how someone passed by, causing some to see the reflection and others not to. The mirror was moved into a room and the ghost was finally laid to rest. Of course many of the old people did not accept this explanation, eventually a family bought the place, moved in and never reported any strange lights after. Now of course some say tilted floor boards, but they could just never figure out how the old piano that came with the house, no matter how many times they moved it, kept returning to the corner where it was when they moved in.




Happy Halloween! ;P

One Pack

Easy steps to perfect abs, this story grabbed my attention because as a gay man, I would like to be a little hotter... well maybe not hotter since I am not even 'hot' right now but I would at least like to try for 'warm'! The story went on to list a bunch of easy steps I can do to help me change my one pack into a six pack. First it said to drink water as soon as I get up, apparently it helps to start your metabolism for the day and switch it into fat burning mode. However it said drink 16oz, that is two glasses of water, I feel water logged already thinking about it. It then went on to say eat a big breakfast within an hour of getting up. I am sure many of you are like me in that our system just does not work when we get up, eating as soon as I get up makes me feel sick and my mouth stays dry until a couple of hours after, so everything is like eating paper towels. The story said that the more you eat in the morning will act in reverse to the fat around your waist, the idea is that the big meal first off in the day will start your body and release hormones that burn fat, where if you eat late in the day, it just stores the fat. Unfortunately chocolate, candy or cookies were not on the list of foods to have for breakfast, nor were huge amounts of bacon, waffles or sugar coated sugar flakes with extra sugar added for flavour... darn! They recommend oatmeal, other whole grains and maybe a glass of water or milk, keep in mind that I am suppose to have already drank two glasses of water. They stressed that water helps remove the fat that hides your six pack, they said to drink one gallon or almost four liters per day, I think I would be floating by then. I could see this being okay for big guys, if you are 6'4 and a solid 220 then it would be no big deal but for po'wittle me I would probably have to pee every ten minutes.

It is strange when we think that our parents always used to say that breakfast was the most important meal of the day, I mean who knew they were actually right! I always thought it was one of their tricks to get me to eat. A Russian friend of mine told me about a saying they used to have where she came from, it went something like "keep your breakfast for yourself, share your lunch with your friend, give your supper to your enemy.

The story of course said to exercises but that the most important thing to show off those abs was to burn off the fat hiding them, then you can work on defining them. It said to pack your lunch, this way you control what you eat, I feel that is true because when ever I try to buy a lunch, the choices are just not that healthy, even when they say low fat or healthy choice. It said to have a rule to only eat what you bring with no cheating. Pack a good lunch using all the foods you know you are suppose to eat but don't at the moment. You know, the foods that you see when you open the fridge door (like apples) and then close it again and say to yourself "there is nothing to eat in this house." It also said to eat small amounts often throughout the day. I used to do that and I used to eat so healthy, just the last couple of years I fell into a life style of convenient food and usually what ever is easy and fast it not good for us. I am watching what I eat (most days but dang it is hard) and getting out more to at least walk for an hour every day, but I wouldn't hold your breath waiting for a six pack picture going up on here, maybe a two pack! Okay have to go people, I need to pee badly.

No cookies were harmed in the making of this blog... okay two were but they deserved it!

Bounty

Since there are so many gardeners in blog-land, this buds for you. As fall is here, it has turned quite cold these last few days. Most gardens are long finished, my parents for example are north of this city almost by two hours so they lost their garden to frost in the first week of September. Dave is closer and along a river so his vegetable garden finished out a couple of weeks ago but he still has some flowers. As for my 'back 40' or balcony as normal people say, it is hanging on. The heat from building protects it from frost, actually most years the plants stop flowering from lack of sunlight as the days are shorter. Some of the stronger plants live until November which is unheard of this far north, they die from being frozen not from frost as they will not be touched until the temperature drops well below freezing. I hate to just cut them down if they are fighting to survive so I wait until the weather does them in.

This week I harvested my vast crops, actually I have been eating fresh tomatoes, peppers and onions all summer from the balcony and what better to have a hobby that pays you back with food! I wanted to bring in the veggies in case they get frozen, there are still green tomatoes and small peppers out there, I left them as some days when it is warm and sunny, they try to grow and ripen fast before winter.


Dave gave me this geranium, it started out as a small cutting but did really well in it's pot and grew into a bush, it is still flowering like crazy, if anyone knows what it is, please tell me.


A photo to brag about how green everything still is, in contrast to the time of year, you can see below the trees have turned that yellow colour just before all the leaves fall off. I had just trimmed the plants as they were getting out of control. At night I give them warm water and they reward me with cherry tomatoes, I hate to let them go because of my dislike for winter, I love my green, like Noah I will rescue a few from death and my window sills will become their ark.

My Grandmother's coleus doing very well, it will be the first to go when things turn cold so I will have to take cuttings now, this way I carry on a living memory of her.



Everyone have a good weekend!

This Little Piggy

This little piggy went to market when this little piggy should have stayed home.
This little piggy had roast beef, tacos, chip dip, chocolates, cookies, BBQ chicken, pop, bacon and many other things to eat more than his normal fill of.
This little piggy noticed a tummy where this little piggy used to have none.
This little piggy stepped onto a scale and cried "Dave, oui oui we have been eating too much!"
This little piggy is almost twenty pounds over weight for his build so this little piggy realized he will have to go on a diet!
This little piggy said "oh crap" because this little piggy likes to eat!
Ssssigh.
This little piggy is hungry. :(

He's Gay? O_O

I can't believe it! This morning I read where Clay Aiken said he is finally admitting he is gay! I mean who is next? I never saw this coming, I am just in shock! My gaydar must be broken because I never for a second thought he was gay. I guess you just never know who could be one of us!

He says he is doing it because now that he has a son, he does not want to raise him to lie or hide who he is. Good for you Clay, I hope you find someone special and can move on with your life, the life you are suppose to lead.

Speaking of idols, on the home front with 'Canadian Idol' ...and the next Canadian idol is... gay! The winner of Canadian idol is gay and even spoke about a boyfriend in one of the earlier shows. I am glad that most people either missed what he said or did not care and he won. I wanted him to win, not because he is gay but because he was my favorite, give a listen to Theo Tams and tell me what you think!

Theo beat out Mitch MacDonald who was a folk/country type singer, I did not feel Mitch should have made it to the number two spot but I still liked him, plus he is cute to look at, if you want, listen to Mitch.

Please Just Stop that music!

I noticed that every gay club I go to, seems to play the same three or four songs over and over, I have no problem with the actual songs, it is just the continuous playing of them. It became almost too much at the parade as every float in the parade was playing 'Please don't stop the music' by Rihanna, or 'I kissed a girl and I liked it' by Katy Perry and the third title slips my mind but it also plays continuously. After the parade was over, while at the gay picnic they had guest DJs and yes, as each one came out they kept playing the same songs! Of course they did mix in other songs as well, however some songs just get into a person's head and you can't get them out. Then finally some live music came on stage, I was thinking "good a change in the tunes" now wait for it, guess which songs they played! Later that night I sat up in bed and Dave asked what was wrong, I said I could not sleep and also all I could hear in my head over and over was "please don't stop the music, please don't stop the music, please don't stop the music", aaahhh, please STOP the music! Alright, okay so today I gave up and listened on Youtube over and over to try and get those songs out of my head, aaaaahhhh! Listen if you dare! Oh well at least they finally stopped playing 'YMCA' and 'You Spin Me Round' after all these years!

The third song is 'When I grow up' by Pussycat Dolls, I remembered because it came back into my head, over and over!

Twenty Gay Things I've Learn

This week there is a lot of activity regarding pride week and parades between my city and the neighboring city. If we can, Dave and I will try for the Montreal gay pride parade this weekend. As a gay blog which was based on my coming out, I want to write for a little while about gay and coming out issues in keeping with that theme.

When I finally listened to my inner gay voice calling, or should I say shouting, pleading, screaming, begging, I learned a few things about being gay and gay people in general. It is a whole separate world from the straight world and yet the same in many ways as well. I decided to list a few observations I made and you can agree or disagree based on your experience.

1) There are as many gay men, if not more, who are as into trucks, cars, motor cycles, sports, nature as there are gay men into fashion, plays, musicals, books and art galleries.

2) For every out loud and proud gay person you bump into in any city, there are probably another ten that you meet and have no clue about.

3) There are probably as many gay men that kick back with a beer, can't dance, like country or heavy rock music, never went to a museum on their own, have no clue about the name of any designer and like to have a peaceful evening at home, as there are gay men who drink martinis, can shake their booty to the floor, like sappy or dance music, haunt places of culture, have shrines to models or designers and like to party wild until dawn.

4) When your gay-dar goes off about people and you think it is broken, more than likely it is working fine, they just have not worked things out for themselves yet.

5) When you think you are the only gay person in the family and friends setting around you, there are others as well, if you stop to think about it, you sort of know each other is gay but say nothing for years until one starts the domino effect.

6) People will surprise you when they find out. Some who you thought would be upset by it will stick by you and others you thought were open enough to deal with it may shut down.

7) If you believe you have everyone fooled into thinking you are straight... you don't, people "know" and just don't want to meddle.

8) Again, people will surprise you with their responses upon telling them. Not all will say "I had no clue!" Not all will be bad or tell you to "date a nice girl and it will change." You will get "I knew but was waiting for when you were ready to tell me" or "I suspected but felt it was not my business" and "why tell me this, it has no reflection on our friendship, it is your life, live it as you want to".

9) Society is not a straight world with a few gay people in it, the number of one in a hundred is what I felt it used to be, however now that my eyes are open I believe one in ten and maybe even two out of every ten when counting gays, lesbians, transsexuals and the wide swing in sexual attraction to the degree of bisexuality in people, some who even still consider themselves as straight.

10) Some people know they are gay from a very early age, some don't understand their feelings until much later in life, the younger generations I believe will do better as they have more information and now finally role models.

11) More education about the GLBT community for ignorant people who spread hate and block our every move will not work. These are a group of people who do not want to learn the truth, they choose to believe only lies to strengthen their case against us, so there is no point in getting upset when they refuse to listen to any research about homosexuality.

12) The issues surrounding gay relationships are mainly the same as straight relationships, who will take out the trash etc, no matter what Hollywood says.

13) Like every relationship, some are very sexual and some are not, the myth of gay men especially, having sex 24/7 is just that, a myth. Gay people are not "gays" they are all individual people who happen to be gay, with tastes and likes same as everyone.

14) There is a whole hidden world that goes on around people in the straight world, if you keep your eyes closed to it and stay in the closet you are missing out on a lot of great living.

15) A large number of gay people do not take part in any religion, not because they have chosen to follow a self centered life style, it is because most have been made to feel unwelcome and unwanted in their faiths.

16) Hiding in the closet for years can make us become so obsessed with keeping our secret, that it skewers our view of the outside world, making the cycle repeat and worsen.

17) There are a lot of straight people out there who quietly support us.

18) As much as some of us feel that we can't relate to the really fem, leather and outrageously loud gay people, we have to put aside our annoyances with some of them and be thankful to them for literally opening the gates for the rest of us. Pride Parades are still much needed and are really just a fun event for the GLBT community, only the wacky right see it as a political statement.

19) Jack is just a funny character on Will and Grace who I can enjoy now. He does not turn the world against me, I no longer have to feel misrepresented by him.

20) Finally, it is true when gay people say there is a freedom to coming out. Pick your right moment but don't use it as an excuse to hide, there is a weight lifted off of a person's shoulders. Also once you make gay friends and know there are people behind you, it begins to matter less and less what others think about your sexuality.

Talking with people in blog-land was a safe and painless way for me to begin my coming out process. The blog world is a great way for a closeted person to get the encouragement and support to begin coming out. Gay blog writers and those who write blogs in support but are straight, tend to be friendlier, more open, supportive, encouraging, smarter, sexier (inside or out), funnier and have much larger penises than the average person (except the women, they are smarter because all the extra blog brain cells just went to one head to think with). It is a proven fact!

Of Mouse and Man

I like to switch back and forth in my posts from serious, to every day, to silly. I do not want to become a dramatic soap opera as I feel that could become boring to my thousands of (okay eleven) readers plus that is not who I am. I try not to dwell on the rough areas that life throws at people. I would not want people to think I am shuffling around listening to sad songs all misty eyed. As I said before, most of the time when I am with Dave, I am usually fairly happy and we are doing something silly like having a water fight (he needs to learn no smart ass comments when I am holding a garden hose with a spray attachment on the end) we can be like two kids most of the time and we spend a lot of it laughing and teasing each other. I did have a lot of fun helping him build his work shop with his family and it was actually pretty hot watching my man in action (he needs to learn no smart ass comments when he is up in the shop loft and I am holding the ladder which is the only way down from there, as it can suddenly go missing) I even learned a lot about construction-ish stuff.

...............................The Great Mouse Caper....................

It was a dark and stormy night, no really it was a dark and stormy night, wow I have always wanted to be able to write that. Anyway Dave had already gone to bed as I complained... er... um... I mean mentioned that he likes to go to bed early. I on the other hand was not sleepy and so came back down stairs to watch some TV. After about an hour I could hear a storm approaching. I turned off the TV and went into the kitchen to watch the lightning as the storm was getting closer. In the garden Dave has those soft solar lights which gently light up the paths he made through the beds of flowers. While watching out the window I saw the silhouette his little cat zipping through the garden, I figured she would probably want to come in to avoid the rain so I opened the door and called her. I could barely see her in the darkness but I knew it was her by the white markings she has. She was happy to see me and came running up onto the deck and in the door as fast as her little legs could go. The lights were off in the kitchen and so I could not see her once inside, but as I closed the door and walked towards the living room, I suddenly had a sinking feeling as the scurrying sound on the floor told me that she brought something in with her! I hoped it was just a frog or toad, the thing with Dave's cat is that she is small but has the strongest prey drive that I ever saw in a cat, she will go after animals that most cats would avoid (even going into a creek after small ducks). I was dreading a rat, black squirrel or worse, a water rat which are huge and have a nasty bite. I turned on the light to see a mouse sitting in the middle of the floor. It made a dash for me and I did the "don't crawl up my pant leg dance", (well I was actually in my boxers but that would have just been worse) as it rounded a corner to escape. Having survived the mouse assault I had to think what I was going to do, if it were to escape under the stove or fridge, how would I explain to Dave that I let a mouse into his house. The cat was on him as quick as a shot, I figured let nature take it's course but she has a nasty streak in her where she likes to play with her food. In a move where she would playfully look up at me as if to say "look Steve what fun we can have" she would bat him and send him flying into the air and then it would hit the ground running (mostly in my direction). I don't have a problem with mice really, I am not afraid of them nor do I hate them, but still when something shoots between your bare feet it can give you a bit of a rise. I was sure he was going to get away if I could not catch him myself or get him to go out the door. I was quickly looking for a pail or something to catch it with. Like I said I don't hate mice but it was time to end this cruel cat and mouse game as I was not able to catch him live so I ended it quickly.

The cat was not so pleased with me, she gave me the dirtiest look I ever saw a cat give someone. I am not sure if it was because I ruined her game or if the mouse was my gift and it is like when you return an ugly sweater someone gives you for Christmas. I tried to scoop up the mouse to throw it outside, the cat thought this was another game and kept knocking the mouse off the newspaper I was trying to scoop it up with. I was so hoping Dave would not come down at this time, imagine the scene of me in my underwear wrestling his cat for a dead mouse. I listened and could hear him still snoring. At this time the cat suddenly realized what I was trying to do, grabbed the dead mouse ran around the kitchen and then suddenly crunched down the mouse with sound effects that has kept me from eating chips for days, even slurping up the tail. She looked at me, I looked at her, I said "there is no way I am leaving you in hear" as she likes to wake us up in the morning by putting her face in our ears to get us up, I did not want to smell mouse breath. I open the door and back out into the night she went.

I went to bed, as I slipped under the covers Dave woke up and asked "everything okay?" I just said yes and told him to go to sleep, I figured I would wait until the next day to explain how the circle of life played out in his kitchen... well after we had breakfast.

Look at me, I'm wittle and cute and would never cause any trouble.

..Wanted!..
Yes mice every where be on the look out for "baby face" Toby, it may be the last face you ever see... muahahaha!

David Is Evil Eeeevil

That is David and not 'my Dave', well actually David is not evil but a really nice guy (bit nerdy haha) but I am in a silly mood and this title will show up on his site so it is sort of a blogger inside joke. Careful 'YOU' could be next, well that is if you have a site feed blah blah blah. Speaking of silly, if you are a fellow blogger, do you have a post that generates a lot of traffic from search engines, and maybe for strange or wrong reasons. If you have a tracker have you noticed a post that seems to come up often. My strange one with a lot of hits has to be this post Men's Underwear the searches have to do with the fact it was about teen boys camping and being in their underwear. Yes I know it is perverted but it is true, I get the most google searches leading to this post. In fact at this moment just by writing 'teen boys camping while in their underwear' I will probably start to get all kinds of hits for this post as well. If any of you came to this post because of that search, well then go get help you frigging perverts! Oh yes and I am telling your bishops on you as well! May I just add that there is nothing wrong with hot men in their underwear, in fact if you are hot and want to send me a picture of yourself in your unde... well you know the rest. Just not you Birdie and Java, I am still confused (and frightened) by most of women's underwear, ummm maybe I better add Cincy Diva in there too! The strangest search that brought someone to this post went something like 'my wife and mother wrestle in their underwear" okay so I never want to meet that person!

That's all folks, hope everyone has a nice weekend. By the way, it has rained here everyday for almost two weeks now, if I start to see animals coming two by two, then I know we really need to worry.

All Thumbs But Green

Okay enough of the drama for a bit, I want to bring some colour into this blog. I will talk about what is going on but later, I can't believe this, I certainly did not want to have drama on my blog but since this is a gay blog, about my new experiences, I guess the honest thing to do would be to write about them. For now however I will be like most people and avoid my problems, woohoo! I am all thumbs when it comes to most things but I do have a green thumb. Not an exciting hobby to most but I find it really relaxes me. I like to grow almost anything, I guess it is the connection to nature or maybe the ex-farm-boy in me I am not sure but I am not bad at it either. I also have a knack with animals, give me any sickly plant or animal and I have a gift to nurture it back to health. The joke between my parents in my younger days was not, give Steve a pet and he will lose interest, but give Steve a pet and watch Noah's ark form. I am in an apartment so not much space for me to grow crops but I do have a small balcony. These are some pics of my babies, I have managed to squeeze on there tomatoes, red and orange peppers, onions, impatiens, cosmos, coleus and tons of petunias. Some are not just plants to me but part of family history, some plants have sentimental meaning handed down from cuttings and seeds, sappy I know but hey I'm gay remember!

The darker coleus has been handed down through cuttings from my maternal grandmother, she is gone now almost twenty years, as are the seeds from most of the petunias. The lighter coleus came from my mother and the cosmos from my sister. My all time favourite plant is the petunia, I have the re-seeding kind passed down through family, some I bought and also the wave kind. Petunias are tough, just add water and grow, most of all I love in the evening as the temperature cools, my apartment fills with their sweet smell and it gives me an 'ahhhhhh' feeling. Okay so not as exciting as rock climbing but this is me!

Violent Suggestions

Violent suggestions, hey that sounds like a cool name for a rock band, in my dream world I would be the lead singer... but I can't sing so back to this world. Normally I am a passive person, quiet and kind but I have to admit it, I hate hate hate pigeons, well not all pigeons, just the ones that insist on coming to my balcony and crapping everywhere! I mean really, how can a one pound bird expel about six pounds of gooey, greenish-gray, yogurt like plops all over the place in a matter of minutes. I can't tell you how many times I went out on the balcony and suddenly realized that I wasn't wearing any shoes. This battle has been going on for almost five years now and I am becoming war weary, not only is there the goo factor, there is the mating call of the male at four in the morning. The male flies to a balcony and begins his aaarooah aaarooah aaarooah to call a female to come and make a nest. The trouble is a male bird will come to almost every balcony in the morning here, there are 72 balconies on my side of the building alone, the noise can drive a person mad in spring at times. I tried at first to be the nature friendly guy, getting 'along' with the so called wild life that make their homes in the city. I was told to put up those plastic grocery bags, the idea people assured me, was that the bags would blow in the wind and frighten away the birds. I cleaned my balcony spotless for the hundredth time and put up the bags in places that would give me the best shock and awe factor I could get from them. When I came home that evening, I went to my door expecting to see a nice clean balcony. Imagine my disbelief in seeing two pigeons building a nest right under one of the bags!

The battle escalates in spring because having a bit of a green thumb, I like to grow a lot of plants out on the balcony, however this becomes attractive to pigeon parents who want to make baby crap factories like themselves. Nothing turns my pale skin red like when I look out and see pigeons tramping and digging out seedlings that I have cared for all winter. I increased my efforts to keep them away, I put up flags to scare them, I placed tanglefoot along the railings and that stuff is so sticky it does not lose it's affect for years. I even tried to spray bleach as the smell I heard keeps them away (don't get the spray on your good shorts... yes I did ) but nothing works. I have reduced the number who target me but still it only takes one or two.

Now no more mister nice guy, I want to get mean, I spend my days thinking of nasty things to do to them, what do you think of my ideas. First the 'Pigeon Sucker Upper' a vacuum cleaner attached to a woodchipper, do I need to explain. Second the 'Bye-Bye Nest Box' it would be a false nest box but built on top of a paper shredder. Third, since they like to land on chairs and poop, I am thinking some sort of a cross between a folding lawn chair and a giant rat trap. For those that like exotic pets how about the 'Python House' it would be a nice inviting house for the pigeon to go in out of the rain only with a python already inside, you could also order the 'Baby Gator' model if you find that more interesting. To show I am not totally cruel to animals, how about the "Feed The Homeless Cats' program, oh come on you would be helping a hungry kitty. I am open to suggestions.

No pigeons were harmed in the making of this blog, however it was thought about with a sinister laugh.

Whaa Shhhhock!

On the lighter side of life, I often mention that I don't watch a lot of TV but I do like music etc and so I will watch American Idol some years. Last year I did not really care for many of the singers so I did not watch, however this year I found there to be a lot of good singers and became hooked. Now then, so where any of you as shocked as I was last night with the results? Actually I said a very bad word at the time and then clapped like crazy! I mean both Davids were great and I was quite happy that they both made it to the final two but I thought for sure little David would win. David Cook is more of the type of singer I like and there would be a greater chance of me buying one of his Cds in future than me buying one of David Archuleta's, that being said I want to say I could hear that he was an excellent singer, just not my style. I was kind of hoping that Cook would win but after seeing the final, Archuleta seemed to have that hunger and so I was prepared to see him win, plus I thought he performed really really well and deserved to win. Archuleta fits in with the idol image, he is sappy sweet and wholesome, beautiful singer, cute and so I figured he would be a better fit with all the teen girls and soccer moms. I thought unshaven Cook would scare them off from voting for him as being too much of a rebel. I did feel in past weeks he deserved to win as he often took greater chances and those chances often paid off, but there was still that boy next door quality to Archuleta so I figured Cook was toast. Imagine my shock when he beat little David by twelve million! Good for him! I can't help feeling sorry for Archuleta, I think being a kid the win would have a lot more meaning for him and Cook I felt would do well anyway. I also can't help feeling sorry that Archuleta lost this year but we all know he could easily beat a lot of the past bland winners. Just think, Sparks, Hicks, even screaming Fantasia would have fallen under the power house Archuleta in my opinion. Did any of you get the feeling that Simon knew Cook was going to win and that is why he suddenly did some major butt kissing just before the results, so as not to look so bad? Do you also feel that he may have given the "kiss of death" to Archuleta by being so flippant with Cook the night before? I thought it was probably one of the best duels ever, I never had that feeling that one might slip up and go off key like other years.

I don't know about you guys but I found the results show to be really lame, I think they could have easily wrapped it up in an hour. What was with all the old people who can't sing anymore, what was with the performances that were not as good as the two Davids, what was with trying to be funny and coming off flat. I did not enjoy the final and at the end I felt like I had wasted two hours, I could have spent my time doing something more interesting and came back near the end of the show just to see the results.

Now my final parting shot, Jason Castro, I think he seems like a nice kid and it takes a lot to make it onto that show but I feel he was a bit of the 'Sanjaya' factor. In my opinion, I often did not find him to be that good of a singer, maybe because of the hair people thought he was cooler than he actually was. I feel my point was made last night with the guys, group songs, he often could not hold up to the other guys when it was his turn, one of the reasons I feel he probably always sang slow sleepy songs. My opinion is that he should have went before Michael Johns, even Chikezie and David Hernandez I found were better singers. Hernandez I think was shot down from the stripper scandal, so much for giving people a second chance in life.

All in all I will be greatly surprised if we don't see and hear both David Cook and David Archuleta for many years to come, maybe not super stars but at least as big as some of the past performers that have done well for themselves, whether they won or lost.

Sex Application

Gay sex, I guess that has your attention. I am tired of thinking about it, looking at it, reading about it. I totally want it, I want to feel a guy's lips on mine, I want to run my hands up and down some guy's body, I want to smell him, breath him, feel him. I want to watch him undress, I want him to undress me, I want to lie down with him, arms and legs tangled up together. I want to hear the sounds he makes, watch him, taste his skin. I want to see another man naked besides just seeing them on the net, I want to see, feel, touch another penis besides my own, I want to see him hard, see him excited. This is taking too long, why can't I find a nice guy that is willing to....

I am thinking of taking applications, you know like a job application. Well hopefully having sex with me would be fun and not seem like a job! I am not sure however what questions or comments I should put on it.

........................Steven's Sex Application.........
Job Experience:
He does not need experience, actually probably the less the better, we could both learn as we go, plus I don't want someone who has been around the block so many times that he carved a path in the concrete to his door. I don't have any experience but I will make up for it with enthusiasm!

Tools & Equipment:
I am not hung up on looks, he can be an ordinary looking guy, I do really like tall guys, that would be hot but short guys are cute too (shout to John) so that does not matter to me either. Penis size, everyone talks about it, I don't care really, maybe the smaller the better as well, since I would be new at this, meaning I think I might pass out if he unzipped an eight or nine! I am not interested in toys yet, well I would like to get to use my new flavoured condoms!

Positions Of Interest:
Almost all positions are available, he could explain which position he was interested in and what he had to bring to the table on that position, or counter, floor, shower etc. None of that tongue in bum stuff, oh no that is not happening. You really want to do it to me, then fine but no way are you kissing me after unless you rinse out with bleach for six weeks. Come to think of it, I don't even like getting water in my eyes so not really into facials either. Positions, well lets try them all and see what we like.

Relationship To Coworkers:
Well to start he has to get along with me, that usually makes for good sex. If he already has a boyfriend then no cheating that is just not right, so bring the boyfriend along because I am at the point where I will go along with that.

Skills:
I hope he has really good ones! ;)

...This application is open to people of all races and faiths but not gender, oh no I am a total bigot there! NO WOMEN need apply, girls yuck, totally yuck yucky, yuck yuck! :p

The CEO of this company reserves the right to panic and not reply to any applicants since he is a total chicken, very conservative when it comes time for real life and would never ever actually go through with something like this!

My Un-resolutions

With the new year being almost a month started, I still receive many ads in the mail trying to entice me into joining some type of club. Whether it is for weight loss, exercise or evening classes to improve my work prospects. I have never made any new year resolutions before in my life. I don't believe in them, I always think if a person wants to lose weight, quit smoking or whatever, then if they are really serious they should do it the day they thought about it. There is no magical power to January first.

I have been thinking I should watch less TV and play less on the computer, I should replace these with something that will enrich me as a person, I am not going to do it though. Looks good on paper but I will not follow through, that is just me. I was thinking I should make a new year un-resolutions list, a group of things I should do but will not follow through on, that way if I falter from not doing them, it would actually be a good thing! Well then here is my top ten un-resolutions list.

1) Learn a second language, I really should improve my french, in Canada it opens a lot of doors to employment as most of the really good jobs require you to be able to speak french as well as English. Plus it is just an interesting thing to do.

2) Get back to reading books, I used to love to read but over the last ten years I probably have only read six or seven books for entertainment purposes only.

3) Get into better shape, this one I need to take seriously. I am not getting any younger and I tend to just stay in my apartment. The results are that I have become ridiculously out of shape to the point of embarrassment. Plus I would be more marketable with a bit of muscle on me!

4) Once in shape I should take up things like hiking again or cross country skiing to be able to meet people.

5) Join a few clubs, this is where the hiking and skiing would come in handy. I could join a few gay clubs in these activities so that I would be able to go out and again it would help me meet more people.

6) Find a hobby, another thing to pass the time better than TV. When listing my interests in a profile section, I suddenly realized how boring I have let myself become.

7) Learn to play an instrument, (wait get those dirty gay minds out of the gutter) I think it would be fun to play music and probably personally entertaining, however I assume torture for the neighbors the first few months.

8) Shag someone, yes you read that right! It has been a looooooong time since I have been with anyone, actually the nineties, I am a very sensual scorpio and I should get in touch with and express my sexuality.

9) Volunteer, there are so many good causes that just need a helping hand, whether it is the local soup kitchens, food banks, hospitals or even humane society, they are always looking for help from people. I don't think the TV would miss me for one or two nights a week.

10) Evening courses every now and again would not hurt, I always balk at the thought because I feel it would take years to get anywhere doing this, however time has a way of flying by, one year suddenly turns into five and a lot of progress would have been made if only I had been following this process. One good thing about my personality is when I start something, I almost always see it through.

There you have it, my un-resolutions. Quite a good list of things that I will not do this year if I say so myself. I also wonder if anyone has something to add for themselves or a suggestion for me, feel free to list it. I can only hope I will falter and actually do one or two of them, the benefit to a list like this, is the less I stick to it, the better off I will be.