Saturday, April 20, 2019
And the Bartender says.
Celine Dion walks into a bar and the bartender says, "why the long face"?
Was that mean? She's a millionaire, what does she care what I say, that totally cracked me up when I first heard that. I should mention that I saw her in concert and she shook my hand which was a life moment for me.
A guy walks into a bar and says, "ow that frigging hurt"!
A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a bar, followed by a duck, a goat and a gorilla, plus an American, a British man and a French man. The bartender says, "what is this, some kind of joke?"
Got any more?
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22 comments:
Got any more? Got any more! Really?! If I had any at all I wouldn't admit to it! I did chuckle, though.
celine needs to eat several pizzas; if she were a horse, she would be put out of her misery.
Ouch Anne Marie!
Not far off the mark, and I don't disagree, but Ouch!
A guy walks in a bar and orders 6 double shots of vodka. Bartend tends says bad day? The guy says I just found out my oldest son is gay.
The next day the same guy comes back in and orders six more double shots of vodka. The bar tend asks, another bad day? The guy replies, I found out my youngest son is gay!!
The third day the guy comes in again and orders the same thing. The bartend says, Jesus Christ, does anyone in your family like women???? The guy replies yeah......my wife.
Deedles, you chuckled? Then my work here is done. ;)
Anne Marie, the last picture I saw of her I was shocked and said out loud to myself, "for Pete's sake eat a sandwich"!
Bob, I sadly agree, seriously I hope she has no eating issues, unlike the other aging divas, she can still hit all the notes.
A guy walks into a bar and looks under a table and says, "Maddie get up off the floor"! :D. Tehehe.
Maddie has made my first snort of coffee thru my nose this morning! That is hilarious!
Deedles, I usually just drink my coffee in the regular way, sometimes in an emergency I use an intravenous coffee drip but I never snort it.
HA! You're on fire this morning, Stevie! Good mood?
Yes Deedles, I'm in a silly mood today. Probably because spring has finally arrived. :)
A duck walks into a bar and asks, "Got any grapes?"
The bartender, confused, tells the duck no. The duck thanks him and leaves.
The next day, the duck returns and asks, "Got any grapes?"
Again, the bartender tells him, "No -- the bar does not serve grapes, has never served grapes and, furthermore, will never serve grapes." The duck thanks him and leaves.
The next day, the duck returns, but before he can say anything, the bartender yells, "Listen, duck! This is a bar! We do not serve grapes! If you ask for grapes again, I will nail your stupid duck beak to the bar!"
The duck is silent for a moment, and then asks, "Got any nails?"
Confused, the bartender says no.
"Good!" says the duck. "Got any grapes?"
Thank you.... thank you. I'm here till Friday and please don't forget to tip your waitress!
Willym, my tip for her would be to make sure and lock the door when you arrived! :)
Thank you.
Willym, AAARRRGGGHHH! It's not even talk like a pirate day!
As I have no sense of humo(u)r, I don't have many bartender jokes. I know the one about the mushroom ("Why not? I'm a fun guy!") and the one about Phineas Gage, but I thought that was all I had. Then I remembered a joke I read on twitter:
An Artificial Intelligence walks into a bar. "What'll you have?" asks the bartender. "What is everyone else having?" asks the AI.
Shiver me timbers Deedles, there be talk like a pirate day??? Aaarrrghh you kidding me lass?
OL, there is still good in you, I can sense it, come back to our side. ;)
Yes, matey, thar be a talk like a pirate day. September 19.
I don't get the Celine Dion one.
Deedles, well I'll be a one legged parrot with an eyepatch, I didn't know that!
Dr Spo, Celine has a rather thin looking face which could give the illusion that she has a long slender face... like a horse... which she doesn't because she's awesome.
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