Wild in Bed!

 Apparently I'm pretty wild in bed, the evidence is undeniable. Unfortunately I don't remember any of what happens because I am asleep when the shenanigans is going on. Now I know many of my readers have a dirty mind and I really appreciate that in a reader, but it's not what you think.

 Each night when I go to bed, I like to be toasty warm, keeping in mind that it's still pretty cold here, we haven't had spring yet. I get in my nicely made bed which consists of a flannel blanket, two wool blankets and a comforter on top. All the colour stripes and silky edges line up nicely, I snuggle in and think dirty thoughts about movie stars until I fall asleep. At some point in the night I wake up feeling cold... and hot.... and cold all at the same time. Usually I am half asleep and try to adjust myself and the blankets to feel warm enough again to return to sleep. It's a no go, I feel cold on my back while another part of me is sweating.

 I get up, turn on the light and behold the wonder of the blanket dance that I seem to perform while I'm sleeping. The flannel blanket is either bunched up into a rope across the top of my bed or across the bottom. The wool blankets are no longer lined up, they are often turned cross ways from each other and the comforter is half way onto the floor. I don't know if I'm dreaming about being at a wedding and we are trying to do the macarena or what is going on. I was never like this before, I'm thinking about using my upholstery stapler and fastening the blankets to the bed, I could just slide in each night, although changing the bed would be difficult.

  It would just be my luck to finally find a man and drive him off by my sleeping habits instead
of with my personality as usual. Imagine some poor guy showing up at work yawning and red around the eyes, "hey Mike wild night at Steve's"? Rubbing his eyes he answers, "no it's like sleeping with a giant grasshopper"! Oh well, there is always handcuffs I guess.