I Lost My Ass!

I lost my ass, has anyone seen my ass? I noticed this morning getting out of the shower. It was my one good body quality, I used to have a good set of buns. Girls often liked to pinch, grab and tweak the cheeks. I did not mind the attention, it was all in fun and not harassment. It is gone now, I don't know when I lost it and I look like a lot of my Asian friends who keep pointing out that they have no ass or a flat ass. Hmmm, actually that makes me wonder if they suspect something and are afraid of me, why else would straight Asian guys be so eager to line up and show me they have no ass and then laugh about it. I should scare them with the comment "well there is still a hole in it right" if they suddenly look nervous I will know. Anyway back to the buns, oh wait a minute, there they are, they seem to have joined together, moved around front and up higher to my stomach! Skinny guys should not have a pot belly!

This whole coming out process has me a lot more self conscious about the way I look than I ever was before. I thought girls were demanding about good looks but you gay bitches are waaaay more catty! I was even reading a post where some of my favorite younger blog writers wrote about one guy not being good looking enough to have the hot boyfriend he had. Well look here you evil little gay children of the corn, maybe he just treated him with respect and saw him as more than a good ass or body. Naaah, we all know that is not true, the ugly gay guy was either rich, had a huge penis, was wild in bed or like the guys said the good looking one was a rent-boy. I just thought since I am not too ugly that the gay community would just open it's arms and be glad, or make that lucky to have me. Yes a little conceited of me but I was raised amongst straight men and was taught, gay men wanted sex with any man they could get. Well I have had my eyes opened. Just where did all these hot gay guys come from! When I was younger, even a lot of guys in gay porn were certainly not that hot. This makes me realize that a lot of the hot football, baseball, hockey jocks that teased us and put us down, were actually into penis as well. Thanks for making a lot of us feel inadequate, you bastards! Now here they are again making me feel less than, by being so frigging hot in the bars. Grrrrrrr, this means I will have to work out. I don't want to, I think I need to shape up before I start going to the gym. How embarrassing if an eighty year old lady bench presses more than me.

I could actually use a little help on clothes and shoes also. Since most of my stuff comes from Sears, the wardrobe is not too gay friendly for me going out to a bar and looking cool. Any suggestions on shoes? I was thinking black shoes go with everything, yes? What is nice and where to get it? What about clothes for a guy above thirty? Any suggestions are welcomed. At the moment I sort of look like a gay farmer dressed for church.

Sometimes getting into shape is harder for thin guys, most routines are geared towards losing weight, if I lose any more weight I will be a pile of dust like on Buffy "poof" gone! I think poof has a gay meaning for my English readers, ha! Anyway I guess I should join a gym, blah. I sometimes think I should take before and after shots to see if any progress is made, but there is no way will I put them on here. Like I said this means I will have to work out. The truth is I don't want to but if I don't get my cute ass back again nobody is going to want to tap it!