Friday, October 11, 2024

Tunnel Vision or Train?

 When I was in my early thirties, I was staying with an aunt and uncle. They were really kind to me and I became closer to them. I said one day that time seems to be passing faster and faster now that I'm in my thirties. My uncle who had entered his sixties at the time, laughed and said "just wait until you're my age, you won't believe how fast the years go by".  He said it's like being in a long tunnel, the light at the end doesn't seem to change in shape much until you are getting closer to the end, then it gets larger and larger really fast. 

That uncle passed away last week, he was a few weeks shy of 90. Even though I remember that conversation like it was only three years ago, here I am just a few years away from being the age he was at the time. I also have to say that I was sad but that I'm happy for him because he and my aunt lived a full and interesting life until the end.

When I started this blog, it was about coming out as gay, that was my major concern at the time. I can't believe the way things have changed since I started the blog, I never thought there would be things like an LGBTQ resource center at my work etc, etc. I remember a time where it was better not to say you were gay at work. However being gay is no longer what is on my mind.

Getting old.. that's all I ever think about. Even shocking to me is that this blog will turn twenty in a couple of years, how did this happen? So many many people are gone from my life now, I'm tired all the time, there have been so many changes and most are not good. I feel like I have just put myself in gear so that I just keep moving forward because we have no other choice. I totally see my uncle's point now, every day seems to be Friday or Monday morning, I feel like I should just leave up the Halloween and Christmas decorations because it's always time to put them up or take them down. This January the Y2K scare will be 25 years ago, Gen X will begin to turn 60 and I will be there in a couple more years. Sheesh 🙄 🤷.

7 comments:

  1. You have come of age, and you totally grasp the concept we are all experiencing at this time in our lives. Yes, Time is passing. However, I am glad to see you posting on your blog. I hope to read more. Continue Forward, Mr.!!!!

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  2. It’s all I seem to think about now…you’re not alone.

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  3. My condolences on the loss of your uncle. As Ferris Bueller said " Life moves pretty fast, you got to stop an look around once & while" (might not be an exact quote but it's words to that effect). I am in my 50's and it feels like just yesterday I was 30. Growing up happens mighty fast. When were old we want to be young and when were young we want to be old. It's nice to have memories to reflect on. As my late partner said, life is about moving forward. Take care!

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  4. It is good to see a post from you. I have just returned from upstate NY for my mother's 90th birthday party. All of those feelings that you wrote about really hit me in the face. I saw people that I hadn't seen in years and they looked old, as I am sure I do. I hope you are doing well. Michael

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  5. Hot puppies! I pop by hoping you will post and lo! You did! I am always glad to hear from you. Yes time feels to accelerate as we age. The fancy word for it is Zenosyne. We have to be mindful in all we do to keep life meaningful and get rid of the rubbish.

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  6. It feels like yesterday I was in my fifties. Now I'm in my mid-sixties. I may be older, but I have a great life. Retiring was one of the best things I eve did. I hope all is well with you and look forward to more posts.

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