tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-167118023573797856.post3062639398471487219..comments2024-02-24T15:33:47.064-05:00Comments on Sooo-this-is-me: Wounds Of Youth, Run DeepestSooo-this-is-mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02001864616415319712noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-167118023573797856.post-31459800211965491832007-11-25T07:23:00.000-05:002007-11-25T07:23:00.000-05:00John, I think often we just need the other person ...John, I think often we just need the other person to acknowledge they have hurt us and they now regret doing so. Yes sorry helps.<BR/><BR/>Wayne, hopefully we learn how NOT to treat others from these situations.Sooo-this-is-mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02001864616415319712noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-167118023573797856.post-56805730603974186682007-11-24T16:39:00.000-05:002007-11-24T16:39:00.000-05:00Our past makes for an interesting present.Our past makes for an interesting present.Waynehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05308447697581920397noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-167118023573797856.post-2601817645105815242007-11-24T16:11:00.000-05:002007-11-24T16:11:00.000-05:00I think sometimes all we need to hear is the words...I think sometimes all we need to hear is the words "sorry" and that melts all the years of torment away.johnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16755439918003129391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-167118023573797856.post-91208365755273004942007-11-24T13:49:00.000-05:002007-11-24T13:49:00.000-05:00Jess, yes it is good that he learned on his own, s...Jess, yes it is good that he learned on his own, some people never learn.<BR/>My friend lives close to me now and said we should meet often.<BR/><BR/>Mountii, it was the same for me, the early years were bad but my senior years were great, however my friend had left by this time.<BR/>No I did not tell him that I am gay, I only have told people really close to me or that I know I can really trust so far.<BR/><BR/>Paul, there were good times as well and now that we have the bad out of the way, we can go forward. I just was struck at how he felt as awkward and shy as I did when in my eyes he was one of the cooler kids.<BR/><BR/>Patrick, we were mean at times also. That was one of the regrets we spoke about. One person we often were unkind to, died a few years after highschool and we never had the chance to make amends. Also like you said, with teen boys, they see emotions as a weakness to hide.<BR/><BR/>Steven, if they try to speak to you maybe that is their way of making up. Some people don't handle emotional situations well and are unable to say sorry even when they feel bad. If they were bullies in the first place, that shows they could not relate to people.<BR/><BR/>Erik, I did not see that Fraiser episode but it does sound really funny.<BR/>Going into my senior years, I was less socially awkward, most people found me to be a nice guy so I was friends with almost everyone, plus my way of doing my own thing was now suddenly cool.<BR/><BR/>able answer, well alright if anyone has a car question they can check out your site.<BR/><BR/>Jon, that is an interesting story. It is good that he made such a sudden turn around but you must have thought the worse when you saw him come back! Well that is not the way I want to make friends but I guess if something so terrible has to happen then at least something good like his friendship came out of it.<BR/><BR/>Kevin, true in that you reap what you sow. How can we help people like that if they drive everyone away. Maybe they think the way to heal their hurt is to pass it on to others.<BR/><BR/>Darth, very funny, did he not know you were gay, that would have given him a little extra shock. Even funnier if you hear later they are all in gay relationships to look younger! ;)Sooo-this-is-mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02001864616415319712noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-167118023573797856.post-73720365023127590132007-11-24T10:01:00.000-05:002007-11-24T10:01:00.000-05:00I met someone by chance from school who hadn't bee...I met someone by chance from school who hadn't been kind (being diplomatic here). He didn't apologise, he behaved as if we'd been on speaking terms at school, tho not best friends. I was a bit surprised. As an adult it felt very different. I'm grown, I've taken worse from others since him and I'm stronger now than then. I didn't really know what to say. It was a wierd experience. It ended in a kind of positive way. He said that he couldn't believe that whilst he and his friends he'd kept in touch with had turned into old men, how come I hadn't? I replied that being gay has sooo many advantages. The look on his face as I left was priceless. No pain inflicted, no injuries. Just words. <BR/>It's brilliant that this Nick is wise enough to understand his behaviour and to take action. It's admirable.Darth Gateauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05121317669143101771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-167118023573797856.post-10373953827756711192007-11-24T09:39:00.000-05:002007-11-24T09:39:00.000-05:00I was never really bullied by others in school (bu...I was never really bullied by others in school (but I was taller than most anyway so that may be why). However, about five or six years out of high school one of the worst offenders in the bully dept. ended up committing suicide. Strangely, I, and most of my friends who knew him, felt nothing. I remember a few who evven laughed. In retrospect he was obviously in great pain and turmoil to end his own life in the way that he did but I suppose that when you treat so many around you with such dehumanizing disregard...well, you reap what you sow.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-167118023573797856.post-10114575872123450012007-11-24T05:08:00.000-05:002007-11-24T05:08:00.000-05:00When I was in College I was assaulted by five guys...When I was in College I was assaulted by five guys near the mall. <BR/><BR/>They left me laying in the field badly beat up but not any serious emergency issues.<BR/><BR/>After about 20 minutes one of the guys came back and found me. He knelt down and apologized for HIS part in the beating. He helped me up and held on to me to assist me to his car.<BR/><BR/>He took me to the dorm and helped me with getting cleaned up.<BR/><BR/>A pack of bullies. But one in that pack did not belong and did not have the courage to remove himself from the pack.<BR/><BR/>He came by the dorm often. He got his High School equivalent degree and enrolled in a Tech type school.<BR/><BR/>We became fast friends. Interesting.JOHANNEShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08351248785067536016noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-167118023573797856.post-9130391558058411452007-11-24T03:41:00.000-05:002007-11-24T03:41:00.000-05:00Your blog is interesting. You may find the informa...Your blog is interesting. You may find the information on my blog helpful. It is designed to provide answers to important aspects of driving and maintaining older vehicles. I have helped readers to save money through the knowledge gained my posts. Knowledge is Power. Even if my blog os not for you us bloggers should support each other. We all have to eat, ThanksJacksonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05418030587402265629noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-167118023573797856.post-91774991858256373832007-11-23T23:00:00.000-05:002007-11-23T23:00:00.000-05:00Well articulated.Something funny on similar lines....Well articulated.<BR/><BR/>Something funny on similar lines. I just saw this Frasier episode where the guys who bullied Fraiser and Niles in school turned up to repair Frasier's leaky toilet(which obviously Frasier and Niles had tired to repair themselves but to no avail). Frasier persuades Niles to sort things out in a gentlemanly conduct and Niles does. However Frasier gets so enraged that he shoves the other plumber's(also a former bully)head into the toilet. He then obviously pays the guy off!<BR/><BR/>The thugs in my school weren't that bad but they were loafers and quite stupid and I'd just throw their stupidity back at them and act condescending and superior. My school set-up allowed me to, get away with it. However, honestly, I wouldn't want to have a middle school reunion. Bunch of twats.Whttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00246080305187265813noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-167118023573797856.post-66419326903561146652007-11-23T20:34:00.000-05:002007-11-23T20:34:00.000-05:00Living in my hometown again, I run into those who ...Living in my hometown again, I run into those who bullied me often. They try to start conversation as if nothing ever happened back in the day, which I tend to resent. Good to hear of these reconcilitations you bring up.Stevenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15460856009625389973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-167118023573797856.post-23512132049928022412007-11-23T15:13:00.000-05:002007-11-23T15:13:00.000-05:00THis is amazing, I think it's wonderful that Nick ...THis is amazing, I think it's wonderful that Nick found that clarity and was able to share it with at least one of you. I remember the humiliation and bullying I experienced, but have also had to recognize the ways in which I hurt other kids too. I wasn't ever a bully, but I know I did careless, thoughtless things that hurt people in ways they probably still carry with them. This is not to excuse Nick necessarily (he doesn't seem to be looking for excuses anyway), but I to recognize that it was easy to see myself always as a victim, and harder to accept I was sometimes the perpetrator. <BR/><BR/>And as you say, a corollary to all this is how easy it is not to notice the fellow-suffering going on around us, and how easy it is to miss the opportunity to comfort one another. It's probably hardest for teenage boys to admit they are frightened or hurt, especially to one another. This conversation with your friend was healing in two important ways. I hope you get to stay in closer touch with him now. I just had lunch with a blast from my past too, and it was wonderful.Patrickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10556860299477514075noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-167118023573797856.post-31036871662543463842007-11-23T12:16:00.000-05:002007-11-23T12:16:00.000-05:00Our past is what shaped us into who we are now. I...Our past is what shaped us into who we are now. <BR/><BR/>I enjoy having phone conversations and getting together with past friends that I haven't seen for years. I find it refreshing that we all usually seem to remember the "good times" over the "bad."Paulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11877772974936424670noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-167118023573797856.post-87073938575395647112007-11-23T11:44:00.000-05:002007-11-23T11:44:00.000-05:00....another thing did u ever divulge to him ur sex.......another thing did u ever divulge to him ur sexuality...just an innocent question :Pmountiihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11227370994194739474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-167118023573797856.post-27385237312334058892007-11-23T11:43:00.000-05:002007-11-23T11:43:00.000-05:00that's what happens to me..now that i'm a senior i...that's what happens to me..now that i'm a senior in highschool i don't...try at least not to hold grudges... if u have a beef then that's ur thing becuz i'm sooooo over it...mountiihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11227370994194739474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-167118023573797856.post-76912130591775556752007-11-23T10:54:00.000-05:002007-11-23T10:54:00.000-05:00Stories like that give me hope. It's unfortunate ...Stories like that give me hope. It's unfortunate that the bullying happened at all, but I'm glad to hear that the bully matured enough to regret his actions and begin to make amends.<BR/><BR/>I hope you get to see your old friend again before another 20 years pass!Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11542750642334339031noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-167118023573797856.post-27689332719751884452007-11-23T09:59:00.000-05:002007-11-23T09:59:00.000-05:00Doug, honestly I did feel better hearing the story...Doug, honestly I did feel better hearing the story but it would have been better to hear an apology first hand. Maybe in a way I almost got it, a few years before my friend received his apology, I bumped into Nick on a bus, he was in a hurry to get off and when he saw me, he came up and sheepishly said "I guess you don't know me" I called him by name. He smiled, asked how I was and then playfully tossed my hair like you would do to tease a younger cousin, he softly said "I have to get off now" and then sort of patted my shoulder. At the time I thought 'what the heck was that about' but now I guess he was feeling bad but did not know how to express it yet.<BR/>As far as the "hurting" statement, sorry I was not clear, I meant that my friends and I were all hurting but we did not see it in each other, we failed by not comforting each other.Sooo-this-is-mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02001864616415319712noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-167118023573797856.post-30103905364468388012007-11-23T08:59:00.000-05:002007-11-23T08:59:00.000-05:00Did you feel any different hearing the story? Or ...Did you feel any different hearing the story? Or would you need to hear Nick's apology first-hand?<BR/><BR/>Even if we're all hurting and alone growing up, does it excuse what Nick and other bullies do? Perhaps one of the things our society needs is to teach our children compassion from an early age. It doesn't seem like we learn it, if at all, until much later in life. And by that time, a lot of damage has been done.Doughttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14065042871216479832noreply@blogger.com