tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-167118023573797856.post1511839388174007779..comments2024-02-24T15:33:47.064-05:00Comments on Sooo-this-is-me: Directly Towards MeSooo-this-is-mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02001864616415319712noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-167118023573797856.post-79723638891114932652007-12-19T08:59:00.000-05:002007-12-19T08:59:00.000-05:00Steven, parts of this were hard to write but it ac...Steven, parts of this were hard to write but it actually helped to get it out. It is comforting to know others understand how I felt.<BR/><BR/>Joe, I wonder how many straight boys feel that they don't measure up. Strange when a boy is confused how the father becomes cold to him and some how thinks that will help him become a man.<BR/><BR/>John, thank you but it was your post that awakened these thoughts again.<BR/><BR/>CT, thanks for the kind words. I am also glad that you could relate to this, yes I think it greatly helps to know there are others, if only we were able to find each other at the time.<BR/><BR/>Steve, I am glad that things turned out well for you, I think things will be better for a lot of kids today as more people understand what being gay means.<BR/><BR/>Doug, that is true, it is like being a man has to mean we are some lion that kills all rivals or else he is considered weak.<BR/><BR/>Java, actually I never heard a woman say they feel they failed as a girl. Usually if a girl is more like a boy, the parents brag about how strong their daughter is but I guess it is how a person sees things.<BR/><BR/>Wayne, somewhere down deep they must know something is up, they would prefer to not talk about it.<BR/><BR/>Dave, I often wonder how many men I know are actually gay or bi, I mean it is not possible that out of all the men in my life, I am the ONLY gay guy? We know now that being married with children means nothing as far as a man being gay or not.<BR/><BR/>Bill, I don't think my parents would be that open, if one of their brothers or sisters gets divorced or drinks, they are no longer welcomed to the house, no exceptions!<BR/><BR/>Matt, strange we feel like we are the only ones, almost embarrassed to say how we felt, then every other gay man says "yes I felt the same way to" and inside we can sigh, then finally not feel alone.Sooo-this-is-mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02001864616415319712noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-167118023573797856.post-90618196916726182652007-12-18T21:34:00.000-05:002007-12-18T21:34:00.000-05:00You described my childhood pretty accurately, too....You described my childhood pretty accurately, too.<BR/><BR/>You're so much less alone than you know.Matthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08564827704670105620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-167118023573797856.post-19916093609336351182007-12-18T09:12:00.000-05:002007-12-18T09:12:00.000-05:00I always knew I liked boys in a different way than...I always knew I liked boys in a different way than I liked girls.<BR/><BR/>I'm an only child, and I'm sure my parents weren't thrilled to have a gay son, but - hey! - they're the ones that put all their eggs in one basket. <BR/>Both of my parents loved my partner and welcomed him to their home. They put us in the same bed with no questions asked from the first time I took him with me for a visit.<BR/><BR/>The best gift we can give our parents is to be true to our core values such as honesty, compassion, kindness, integrity, and courage. These qualilties transcend minor things like differences in gender, sexuality, race, or religion.<BR/><BR/>Most parents "know." Few parents know quite how to say "I love you, and it's okay."Billhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11041374614464589328noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-167118023573797856.post-16656724235651893392007-12-18T06:15:00.000-05:002007-12-18T06:15:00.000-05:00i am sitting here reading my life, you have nailed...i am sitting here reading my life, you have nailed it....was not close to my dad, was the youngest, very very close to mom......hated sports, kept thinking why can't i be like the other boys, oh and fuck was i the picked on one or what.........all through school, but in junior high school started noticing "boys" oh my....and after all these years and finally startinng on this weird,wonderful, wacky journey that we are all on, all that past shit made sense.....now just how to move on and mend the hearts of the one i destroyed.....daveinclevelandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12322520630429327304noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-167118023573797856.post-60289957208687635342007-12-17T23:40:00.000-05:002007-12-17T23:40:00.000-05:00How old are you Steven. Do you take girls over to ...How old are you Steven. Do you take girls over to your parents? Do you talk about girls?<BR/>I think they know you are gay.Waynehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05308447697581920397noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-167118023573797856.post-79296284863074644742007-12-17T21:12:00.000-05:002007-12-17T21:12:00.000-05:00I really like your blog, your writing, and I can i...I really like your blog, your writing, and I can identify with a lot of what I've read so far. <BR/>I feel like a failure as a girl. I am a girl, but I just don't fit in with girls. I like boys a lot (well, men, really!) but so many straight men are such asshats. Gay men can be, too, but in my experience they are a whole lot nicer. And I tend to be a lot more butch than many gay men I know!<BR/>I haven't spent a lot of time reading your blog yet. There are so many things I'd like to comment on, but it is late and I am tired, so I'll try for another day.Javahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17377033663576614925noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-167118023573797856.post-81920072176101598962007-12-17T15:07:00.000-05:002007-12-17T15:07:00.000-05:00Your father may surprise you when the time comes. ...Your father may surprise you when the time comes. If he respects you as a person now, it's hopeful that respect will carry over to include all aspects of you.<BR/><BR/>A lot of people label gentleness and non-competitiveness as gay traits. I look forward to the day when a person can be considered gentle without immediately being labeled as gay.Doughttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14065042871216479832noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-167118023573797856.post-47871155945088590292007-12-17T13:47:00.000-05:002007-12-17T13:47:00.000-05:00It's good to realise these things, because your ch...It's good to realise these things, because your childhood has such a big impact on things, on your whole life. And it must feel good to be able to share these things with your readers.<BR/><BR/>I also experienced being different when I was a kid. I was one of the few non-white kids at school, my parents came from the other half of the world (South America), I was a lot shorter than the other kids, and I also played with the girls.<BR/><BR/>However, I never felt strange, or like a failure. I think I just felt a bit different, that was it. It never seemed like a problem to me.<BR/><BR/>I think this has to do with the fact that other people always treated me with a strange sort of respect. I played with the girls, but got along fine with the boys as well (I just did not like sports, that's it). I even think some boys looked up to me a bit, because I could get along with the girls that good.<BR/><BR/>And when I came out to my parents at age 17 (I think they were the first I came out to), I did get the Hollywood response from my parents. So luckily enough, it does happen in real life as well!Stevehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02173299361850493892noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-167118023573797856.post-85993916178430750812007-12-17T13:02:00.000-05:002007-12-17T13:02:00.000-05:00Wow -- dude... you have just written about my chil...Wow -- dude... you have just written about my childhood. I almost cried reading it. I too felt like a failure and was told I was a girl. Talk about shame...I did have a good relationship with my dad, but to this day my parents still don't know I'm gay. Well, they may "know" but I haven't told them. Thank you so much for writing this post. It's nice to realize that there are people out there that can relate.Creative Thinkerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18309579386559338069noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-167118023573797856.post-29355299152719959132007-12-17T12:12:00.000-05:002007-12-17T12:12:00.000-05:00You've said what I felt so much better!You've said what I felt so much better!johnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16755439918003129391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-167118023573797856.post-71401240240019332812007-12-17T11:29:00.000-05:002007-12-17T11:29:00.000-05:00When we talk about our "stuff" we each share the s...When we talk about our "stuff" we each share the stories of others. We share more than we differ, I think. I never measured up, never "manly" enough.<BR/><BR/>But my dad never taught me shit about "being a man." Even though I have always known I was different, it took me a long time to really figure out how. And then denial set in.<BR/><BR/>So I've done the straight thing: married, children (both of whom are girls - so there goes the family name thing. But, girls are good!)<BR/><BR/>Now, I'm on the journey of coming out. Thanks for sharing part of my story. Bring it on!Vic Mansfieldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06194671996997775313noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-167118023573797856.post-34293758193828987662007-12-17T10:37:00.000-05:002007-12-17T10:37:00.000-05:00It's beginning to become an overused cliche, but I...It's beginning to become an overused cliche, but I see myself in you in so many ways. And like John gave you your jolt, I got mine. I knew I was gay at 14, I loved to play Chinese jump rope (who remembers that?), and I <I>"did the dishes"</I> while we were at church. I would sit on the kneeler and pretend the dishes were on the pew....that's all I say. ;-) But then the regret came out of me and shame for my father as well when I "came out" and then Mom said, "So's your brother." So I saw myself as the last possible son to carry on the French Canadian surname. So I felt that I failed my father.<BR/><BR/>And what a positive outlook in your closing!! Thanks for sharing. :-)Stevenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15460856009625389973noreply@blogger.com