I was shopping for a husband on line and I came across a description that made me laugh. The guy said that he wasn't over weight but didn't work out either, he said that he is "doughy" and the rest of the ad was quite comical as well. Nobody however will answer him because he was telling the truth and that is forbidden in gay land. That describes me, especially after winter, I'm very thin but as I age I am getting doughy from not keeping in shape. One of the head engineers asked if I was forty, that made me feel good, I said that I'm a little passed that mark.
The local paper started a free section for dating, I kept thinking about placing an ad, you only need to give an email address so I could stay on the down-low. This week I was beat to the finish line, a gay man advertised looking to meet someone. Now before you all start weeping with joy and clutching your pearls, he is a young man looking for a young man. Worse still, he wants someone to go mountain biking, hiking, climbing, camping, canoeing, surfing. No.... that's not me, I needed a nap after reading that ad. Sounds fantastic in theory and wouldn't we all love to watch two sweaty masculine guys breeding in the woods but that is what porn is for.
I think if I am being honest, I should advertise for a guy who thinks hiking is fun (in theory) but we accidentally miss out on the hiking because we get hung up at the garage sales on our way to the country. That the smell of fresh air is from the bakery we stop at on the way back. I hope the only climbing we do is onto the couch so that we can snuggle up while watching "This Is Us", the bonding will be the two of us trying not to cry in front of each other. No surfing, snowboarding, skiing or anything else sliding out from under my feet. I don't do any of these things now, why should I look for someone who is addicted to them. On a serious note, I would like to have someone to be more active with, just for a healthier lifestyle.
A little cultured is nice but not too much of a museum nerd. Relaxing at home is good but dressing up every now and again to go out for an evening is fun, it's uplifting. He can be doughy too, he can be balding, he can be shorter than me, older than me, darker than me (everyone is darker than me) but he has to be nice, friendly and being a little funny helps a lot as well. He can play sports as long as it's ok with him that I don't, plus also I get to see him wear his jock every now and again.
I had a friend who answered an " ad" once
ReplyDeleteThe ad demanded a photo be sent with any replies ( this was before computer dating)
My friend sent a photo of a church at Whitby!
John, well that should be a positive regarding personality, I would worry if it was a picture of a prison.
DeleteJohn, really and truly laughing out loud -- church at Whitney, too rich.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite personals ad story. Our next door neighbor played Bridge with a group that was always short a fourth. She advertised in The Washingtonian for a Bridge partner when she was really looking for a life mate. She got many answers and interviewed several candidates over bridge with her friends. She ended up marrying one of them!
Mike, in other words her plan worked. Lol
Delete(Of course my Whitby got corrected into Whitney,I'll bet Whitney's church isn't even photogenic)
ReplyDeleteMike, spell check does that on purpose. Like the other day I was trying to type "always" and got asylum, maybe it's making a suggestion to me???
DeleteWell I hope you sent Mr. Doughy a note of appreciation to let him know you enjoyed his ad, even if you are not in a position to date him. If we want to make online dating better then we have to act like kinder people online.
ReplyDeleteJust because one gay dude put an ad in the paper does not mean you are prohibited from doing so. It sounds as if you have much of your dating profile composed already.
Mr Lurker, I told him he was a troll and to go look for a woman with a body like that. I have to keep up tradition.
DeleteThere is only room enough for one gay man in this town. Lol
I think you just wrote an add. I think you should place an add. Will you write one for me? The adds in Colorado mostly say the same thing: into hiking, skiing, snowboarding, running, cycling and kayaking. It's not uncommon to see a $500 beat up car with a bike rack holding a $5,000 bicycle. You should see the REI flagship store on a Saturday. It's packed with handsome men although most play for the other team.
ReplyDeleteRJ, maybe on the other team but you can still look lol. I don't need to write an ad for you, I believe that you already know what to say. Maybe I will use this as an ad lol. I should at least get a friend out of it.
DeleteI got mine via food stamps. It took a lot of stamps but I got one. It was either him or an alarm clock.
ReplyDeleteDr Spo, funny he said the same thing when I met him. Only difference was he regretted passing on a good alarm clock. :)
DeleteWe eventually got the alarm clock so it was good planning in hindsight
ReplyDeleteDr Spo, I had a good alarm clock, I got it when I was recruited into the gay club, everyone else took the toaster, actually they ran out of toasters, I had to take the alarm clock, they said that is what I get for taking so long to come out.
ReplyDeleteIf there is only room for one gay man in your town then do you and the other person who placed an ad have to fight? Maybe it is time to make love, not war.
ReplyDeleteMr Lurker, yes and we have to wear those wrestling singlets and do it in a pool of warm mud!
ReplyDelete